I'd like to take a minute or two from everyone's day to talk about nicknames. Or more specifically, nicknames of current A's players.
Everyone knows about how Chuck Finley was the ultimate showman and turned his team into almost the circus act of baseball with their garish uniforms, awesome facial hair, and great promotions. I think we, as the fans, should bring some of that attitude back.
We are in a unique place in baseball history where we can create nicknames for our team that can spread via the interwebs. Nicknames which AN, with its considerable influence, can spread to the A's and their broadcasters, and finally on to ESPN where the country at large can learn about how awesome some of our guys are.
The Mustache Gang, the Bash Brothers, Catfish, Eck, Hendu, Blue Moon, Rollie (Side note to Ray Fosse, just adding -ie or -y to the end of someone's name should not be the basis for EVERY nickname). Let's put our heads together and come up with some awesome nicknames that can spread throughout the baseball world and generate some interest in our boys in Green and Gold.
Let's have some fun with this. Some of my suggestions after The Jump...
Let's start from the top with Bob #2
Bob "The Mad Scientist" Melvin - Obviously I didn't make that one up, but it plays well.
Alternate: "Dr. Wily" (too specific to old school gamers? Works much better with "Out Man" still on the roster)
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"Diamond" Dallas Braden - Simple, easy to remember.
Alternates: "Mr. Mustache", "209", "Get Off My Mound", "Mr. Perfect"
(I don't know why so many "Mr.'s", they just felt right)
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Brett "Big Pimpin" Anderson - We've all seen the photo
Alternate: "Captain Red Beard"
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Josh Reddick ... Every time I see his last name I think "Dog Boner". Maybe too much?
Alternates: "Lipstick", "Red Rocket", "The Clap",
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Collin "Ride 'em" Cowgill
Alternates: "Duke", "Moo Fish", "Sushi", "Tuna"
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Alternates: "Scooter", "Triples Machine", "Who Needs a Helmet?", "Speed Demon", "Mosquito", "Stinger",
(General theme being he's fast and a nuisance to opposing pitchers)
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Michael "USDA Prime" Choice
Alternates: "The Savior", "Billy's Choice"
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Fautino "El Diablo" De Los Santos
Alternates: "Yes that's my Real Name!","Of Course I'm only 26!"
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Cliff "Money Penny" Pennington - Not mine, but a good one. Much better than just "Penny", Ray
Alternates: "The Whitest Guy on the Team", "Cannon", "Funny Face"
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Joey "To Save is" Devine - If he wins the closer job?
Alternates: "Devine Intervention", "Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadoo"
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Eric "Spec's" Sogard
Alternates: "Data Processor", "Harry Potter", "The Tech Guy"
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Brandon "Tall Mac" McCarthy - He's not really a Big Mac, is he?
Alternates: "Twitter", "The Other Guy", "Stretch", "Gangly", "Gollum"
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Tommy "Mayday" Milone - Poached from Cheers. As Patty (or Selma) from The Simpson's put it "The best way to become popular is leach off of the popularity of others". Cheers is still super popular, right?
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Jarrod Parker - Hmm, I've got nothing. I just keep thinking of Parker Lewis. Does anyone even remember that show?
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Brad "The Mad" Peacock - Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of ballplayers like a crazed Peacock
Alternates: "Bird Flu" (Every strikeout comes with "Looks like he caught a case of the Bird Flu")
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Kurt "Puka Shells" Suzuki
Alternates: "King Kamehameha", "Noodle Arm",
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Anthony "Recking Ball" Recker
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Scott "Super" Sizemore
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Chris "Mt. Vernon" Carter - Not mine, I know, but I like this one.
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Kila "Killer" or "Killa" Ka' aihue
Alternates: "Kila Monster" "Hawaii 5-0" "Maui-Wowee"
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Yoennis Cespedes - Here's a fun one
"Cuban Missile Crisis" - For when he guns someone down at the plate
"Bay of Pigs" - On bacon day?
"Copa Cabana" - Perfect walk up song?
"Yacht Rock" or "Chris Cross" - Perfecter walk up song?
http://channel101.com/shows/show.php?show_id=152 (Here's some Yacht Rock for those of you unfamiliar. Christopher Cross makes his cameo in #2)
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So that's what I've been able to come up with so far. Not much, I know.
I'm aware of the AN nicknames that everyone here uses to refer to their favorite players. While they are great nicknames, they aren't typically casual fan friendly or TV friendly. You'll never hear Ray Fosse call Mark Ellis "Unicorn" or "MaEl", or Daric Barton "Dale" or "Staplehead" (and can someone please tell me what the hell "Slegna" refers to? I've tried to figure it out and can't seem to). Obviously many of my choices are in jest, but I was serious with a few of them (I'm sticking with Mayday Milone). That's why we need the collective think tank that is AN, and its many clever members, to come up with better ideas!
I think we should do our fanly duty to show off how colorful and fun our team is, like history says the A's should be. That other team across the bay shouldn't be the colorful one with its "Kung Fu Panda" and "Fear the Beard" nonsense, because F#$% the Giants.
4 recs | 59 comments
Human Cespedes
GoldenStateGuerrero - February 16, 2012
demigod cespedes
guessatomo - February 16, 2012
Cespeedy Gonzalez?
He’s not Mexican though and that might get construed as “Latin Americans are all the same”
Degolas - February 16, 2012
Spell slegna backwards.
Even I could get that one.
skigurl - February 16, 2012
Hahaha
What a dummy!
Degolas - February 16, 2012
Poor Josh Reddick!
For some reason, I hadn’t made that connection with his surname, but now my brain can’t undo it. How the hell did I miss that? That sort of thing is right in my wheelhouse!
CmdrKhraanik - February 16, 2012
"The Clap"...LMAO!
adragon707 - February 17, 2012
Solid post, I definitely cracked up at a lot of these
This was the best
I don’t know how many times I had the same thought.
For Brandon McCarthy, “Stick Man” or “Stick figure”? Just based on his awesome self-portrait in the A’s rotation picture. Also based on the fact that he’s tall.
For Cespedes I definitely second “The Demigod” after Coco’s quote. Of course, if he falls flat or is exceedingly average, that might not work very well. Yacht Rock isn’t bad either.
I love Bird Flu and The Mad Peacock.
“Super” Sizemore definitely works.
I always think of Weeks’ walkup song “Hustle Hard”. I think either “Hustle Hard”, “Hustler” might work. Or maybe just “Hyphy” since he rocks the dreads and plays in Oakland.
“Big Pimpin” is definitely a great name for Anderson.
I think we could just shorten “Data Processor” to “Data” and it might work for Sogard. Or maybe “Stathead” as a funny take on the “nerd in his mom’s basement” stereotype of statheads.
I dunno, your ideas are much better than anything I can come up with.
Billy Frijoles - February 16, 2012
Re: Data
I love it. Someone photoshop a picture of him in a Star Trek Uni and it’s a done deal.
“Hustler” is awesome too. It fits perfectly.
Ray Fosse just isn’t very creative. Chavvy, Ellie, Penny, Huddy. Makes you wonder if his last name is ACTUALLY Fosse, or just short for something like Fossman.
Degolas - February 16, 2012
Nevermind, I got it
Degolas - February 16, 2012
Side note to Fosse:
Especially, please no “McCarthy-ie”.
Nico - February 16, 2012
"The Whitest Guy on the Team"
Poor Pennington bahhaaahhha!!!
PistolPete7556 - February 16, 2012
Yeah
I just feel like his full name is probably something like Clifford Maxwell Pennington III, and he comes from old money.
Degolas - February 16, 2012
For anyone curious (I don't know if you looked it up)
his name is Clifton Randoulph Pennington, which I think fits that theme pretty well.
Cretgren - February 16, 2012
Randoulph?
Now his parents are just making shit up.
DDroney - February 17, 2012
Might be helpful for a Parker nickname
Billy Frijoles - February 16, 2012
"Bender" it is
Jarrod “Bender” Parker… I like it
adragon707 - February 17, 2012
Nice
Does he throw a curveball to give that even more credence?
Degolas - February 17, 2012
Bender?
BARELY KNOW HER
darooster - February 19, 2012
{still funny}
Nico - February 19, 2012
Jemile can't be "Scooter" because
that’s Marco Scutaro.
I like “Demigod” for Cespedes, based on Coco’s comment.
iglew - February 16, 2012
Agreed
Demigod is good. Maybe go a step further and call him Hercules? If the power numbers are there?
Degolas - February 16, 2012
Given his first name, I prefer
“Enema”. Or if you prefer, “Public Enema #1”.
Nico - February 16, 2012
Someone at MLBTradeRumors suggested Cap’n Crunch for Cespedes (as he supercedes Coco Crisp in center).
XD
LunaCI - February 16, 2012
My girlfriend calls Sogard "Tree Cookie"
Apparently he reminds her of a Keebler elf.
biscuit530 - February 16, 2012
I thought someone came up with "Reverse" for Cowgill. I liked that one.
And I do remember Parker Lewis. I had the long coat in high school, but I didn’t have a swatch to synchronize.
player20 - February 16, 2012 via mobile
Not Bad
Particularly like “Cuban Missile Crisis” for Cespedes and “Recking Ball” Recker.
How about “Mad Cow” for Cowgill?
Sean Fortuna - February 17, 2012
"The Cuban Missile" might just catch on.
I also had “Recking Ball” and “Big Rig”™ for Recker. There was one other I can’t remember.
player20 - February 17, 2012 via mobile
Isn't Alexei Ramirez Already "The Cuban Missile"?
Sean Fortuna - February 17, 2012
"People's" Choice? "Popular" Choice?
(Future game call) Korach, after a homerun: “And Vince, after a swing like that, I guess you could really say that was a Choice cut.” Seems so natural that I’m surprised he hasn’t said it yet.
player20 - February 17, 2012 via mobile
Yeah, Korach I think we can say will roll with some nicknames
But Fosse and Kuiper just seem so un-creative in their game calling. I’d like come color to my color commentating please. And to your above commments re: Recker. I really hope he becomes an actual big league player if only for the nickname possibilities. I really like “Big Rig”.
Degolas - February 17, 2012
chronicles of reddick
stadiumlights - February 17, 2012
Yo-Yo or YoCes
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
Hmm
I have to agree, Demigod for Cespe, Cepeese…for that Cuban guy.
But only because Coco said it. And I find it amazingly hilarious that
Coco has such a high opinion of himself.
Josh Reddick. Hmm, last year I came up with CompliantPork. Using
the same formula, after entering it into my nickname calculator, it comes
up with CrimsonPork
OptimistPrime - February 17, 2012
Excellent
Rosy Sausage?
Blush Banger?
Ruby Wang?
Degolas - February 17, 2012
Sunburnt Weiner?
Nico - February 17, 2012
Josh "Spotted" Reddick?
Keeping it clean.
DDroney - February 17, 2012
Maybe we can call him Spot for short
No one but us has to know the origin….
Billy Frijoles - February 17, 2012
So if Melvin pinch hits for him,
is that Spot-remover?
Nico - February 17, 2012
The Cuban Thumper
Choice: the Franchise
Parker: Lights Out
Reddick: J-Red
Chris Carter: Long Ball
Weeks: J-Weeks or V12
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
Forgot one
Peacock: Mad Brad because that kids got one hellofa game face!
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
McCarthy: Pin Point or B-Mac or MacnCheese
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
Or Green Cowboy for Reddick
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
You're very good at this
I like everything you’ve put out there, except I must say that I don’t love the Spanish nickname convention of combining the first letter/syllable of the first and last name. I’m ok with A-Rod cause I think he was the first, and K-Rod, because that’s at least clever. But to just use that with every spanish named player kinda irks me. Man-Ram? really?
Degolas - February 17, 2012
Yeah YoCes sucks now that i think of it
I like The Cuban Thumper better…Thanks for compliment!
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
Grant Green: the Hitman?
Halloffamer7 - February 17, 2012
Al Holland is glad
they didn’t adopt that practice until after he had retired.
iglew - February 19, 2012
How about
C PED
or
Mr PED
I mean he’s supposed to be the next Sammy Sosa right?
Or while I’m on the same train of thought hows about: Corky
Oaktown Shutout - February 17, 2012
Cause you can't spell Cespedes
without some PED
I mean, I like the guy and all. And he looks clean but I can’t believe no one has said this yet.
Oaktown Shutout - February 17, 2012
I thought Carter is "Trogdor"?
adragon707 - February 17, 2012
Yeah, and if he wants to keep it, he needs to do some burninating, pronto.
CmdrKhraanik - February 17, 2012
Burninating
the ranger’s hide. Burninating the slegnas…
evi1_d - February 17, 2012
Burninating the AL West
With their THATCHED ROOFED STADIUMS!!!!!!
Degolas - February 17, 2012
The ladies man?
Billy Frijoles - February 17, 2012
left off the last one...
Billy Frijoles - February 17, 2012
Some people started calling Weeks "Judge Dread" last season
that’s a solid nickname.
darooster - February 19, 2012
nice.
Billy Frijoles - February 20, 2012
When Cespedes draws a walk,
he will of course be a “Ces-pedestrian”.
iglew - February 20, 2012
When will we draw his first walk?
I’m starting a Ces-pool!
Nico - February 20, 2012
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