Athletics Nation

Yes, I know. I know I have to make a move here and there if I expect something.

There are 3.5 billion women on this planet and only one of you

if there is only one person for you, you better learn how to ask the other 3.49999999999 billion other girls on the planet out to weed through them.

When U get Married, dont be like this couple

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar – the energetic parents of 18 children on the TLC show "18 Kids and Counting" — announced they are expecting baby number 19, People Magazine reported.

"We are so thrilled," Michelle Duggar, 42, told the magazine. "We just couldn’t believe it is happening."

How about chopping it off Jim Bob?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,545163,00.html??test=faces

Vagina != clown car

Wow.

Isn't that rediculous

19 kids and counting?

Rated-R….. You better get started!!!!

No!

If they're paying for them themselves I

don’t care. If they’re asking for govt handouts then things get serious.

In fact, they are quite self-sufficient

Then who am I to judge?

{clears throat}

Hi.

Oh, sorry.

Only if you take me to a really nice dinner

Well it won't be In 'n' Out

See I remember.

good! i like attentive

I'm more like a stalker.

{ahem}

oh what?

Was the

restraining order really that necessary?

It's just another way of saying "I love you"

Nope.

tomato/tomato

You should charge for this advice.

Ive been looking for ways to monetize my time on AN

no more bacon for you

sad face

sad bacon-eating panda

ok, we're up. runz now bastards!

sleepy

And I have no idea who is winning this game or what inning it is or who you people are.

are you sick, too?

I’m delusional.

I mean, more than normal.

I'm special

because my Mommy told me so.

healthy as can be. just slightly overworked.

what game?

We're down 4-1.

I think it’s about the 8th, but not sure about that.

Seventh.

Hey, I was close.

thanks iglew

though i kinda wish you would have lied about the score.

Throw more balls.

Wait, YOU'RE the one who makes that happen?

Nick - September 1, 2009 reply

I try.

that's what the clown said.

i miss my clown

I miss Hugh Downs

I miss Hugh Lawrie

should've took better care of him.

He wouldn’t have died.

who knew I was supposed to feed it?

now you have to bury him in the back yard or flush him down the toilet

Mommy said so

I prop him in front of the window to the street

... porn

That sounds worse than my porn.

You watch porn?

{shakes head}

Sigh.

Any man who tells you he doesn't watch porn

is either a liar or a woman.

or both!

Only in Thailand

The most beautiful girl on the planet is from thailand

She is one of my best friends on this earth. If you ever want to see divine beauty, you should watch her dance.

OK

And oh, how they dance

the little children of Stonehenge

crushed by a dwarf

Future Ed - September 1, 2009 reply

dwarf tossing?

banned in 43 states

I think that's an open invite for all of AN to go down to

wherever she’s dancing. That’d be awesomely creepy.

shes in spain right now but bobnothing is coming out dancing on thursday

Spain IS closer than the US....

No actaully she lives in San Lorenzo

I don't think you understand how epicly gorgeous this girl is

I see her everyday.......

In the mirror

wow

Um, hi.

67M will kill me.

You’re gonna break somebody’s heart some day, kiddo.

I already have

not purposely

That's not what I meant.

I will kill you too.

Unless I'm mistaken, so will the Govt.

Woah, easy tiger.

Don’t get all feisty…

yet.

rawr

naw arsie and the pipettes have spots one through 4 taken.

how about half of each

was shaking my head that he asked zigfan

when clearly she does. wait, how do I know that?

never mind. can anyone read this?

excuse me sir?

Everybody watches porn.

{hoping my niece does not concur}

Well I am your niece

So of course I have

{cries}

hope it wasn’t mine

That's wrong on about 16 different levels.

+ trauma

lol

I was shooting for 17.

That trumps my porn incident.

Sorry

You knew I was sleeping over. You shouldn’t have left it where I could find it, I mean come on Nino….I didn’t even have to look for it.

Why did I start this?

That sense of humour runs in the family I see.

You have to meet the rest of us

I'm not sure I'd survive the experience.

probably not

her dad is worse than me

well maybe not anymore. 10 years of marriage killed that.

He has 5 daughters Nino

I’m pretty sure he has you beat

I told him how to have a son.

But thinking about him doing it makes my eyes water.

WOW

It was in the VCR!!!!!!! ahhhhh

Yours

or… YOURS

Because, dude

The guy in the background looks suspisciously naked.

creepy

Want me to ask?

Michael!

I haven't yet.

Hi.

Best part of that sentence .... "yet"

you haven't lived

Wait

your porn.. or your porn?

from the dude that gave her porn from three threads ago

You totally missed it.

No i got it

i was just referencing her meaning

The porn I was given.

From last week’s thread.

I'm not interested in THAT porn

Ohhhhhh THAT porn!

Hi.

that's a lot of balls for two guys

Where?

c'mon, cliffie

Anyone know what Pennington's batting music is?

I miss DFA’s Last of the Mohicans tune.

LET'S GO A'S!

clapclapclapclapclapclap

Dude.

I gotta go to bed, peeps.

I’m sickie and canna miss the work.

Kisses all round.

Bye.

get well Bloom

NIghty night.

feel better Leo

[[reads Ulysses excerpt as bedtime story]]

wuss

TTFN

Nick - September 1, 2009 reply

Night Bloom

feel better bud

What's with all the Bloom love?

You guys act like he’s a real person.

and not nico's sock pupet?

shhh we told nico we would keep that quiet

well the puppet is out of the sock now

Kisses, love.

Get some rest.

Time for John FAIL

3 run HR would be a nice touch

Productive outs.

Bale vs Kennedy

Now there’s a duel. Who can more epically fail?

Kennedy does better against Nixon

Otis Nixon

Curt Gowdy seemed to love talkin about him….“And from Cherookee North Carolina, ol Otis Nixon”

Curt Gowdy. sigh.

Ok, now the Royals are bringing in the A’s MVP.

Post379 - September 1, 2009 reply

PERFECT

MOAR LAWN DART!!!!!

My MLB audio just died

did you perform cpr?

Trying the back door now.

It’s not working either.

TWSS

Trying the back door now.

i KNEW someone would say it

For a fee, I'm happy to be your back-door man

TWSS

Late!

me too

Cool.

what.

Kennedy brought in a run.

thanks

The ball hit AK's bat

wow

AK WIN

AK yes

The Royals are bringing in Christian Bale?

we should counter with the Joker

he's um, well, yeah

yummy

Does Kennedy have the ugliest swing in the majors?

No

see: Boby Crosby

Bones' swing is sexy, he just can't hit the outside slider.

or the inside cutter, or the cheese at the knees, or the etc... I am wearing thin on him with his crappy d lately

good one!

I love LL

This is quite possibly the greatest GIF ever created.

Didn't I warn you about that?

I can’t kick xbox’s ass, but I can kick yours.

Don’t post an animated image without a subject line. It fucks with my browser.

I am sorry.

ROFLMAOPMGOPMAFALADFOOW

which, for those keeping score at home, is rolling on floor laughing puking my guts out peeing myselfand flopping around like a dead fish out of water

oops, left out "my ass off"

rolling on floor laughing my ass off, can’t forget the ass.

if youve peed yourself wouldn't it be like a dead fish in water?

bigger loop in his swing then a 360 degree roller coaster

wow, AK rbi. i'm pleasantly surprised.

He's had quite a few- just stinky the last month really.

true

He is still hitting .350+ with RISP

Are we having a 7th inning tease?

I'll tease you

I prefer to be pleased.

{raises hand}

wait that’s not my…ok I’ll stop

Yay! The real 67M is back!

He's been missing for some time.

I found him wandering aimlessly somewhere near Stockton.

Gulp.

Uh, oh.

Did you see Pepe?

Thank god you found him!

For my sake, yeah, it’s a good thing.

both

thumbs up girl!

hey warn me next time

woooo, hello everyone!

just got here and turned on the game, why aren’t we winning?

cuz our bullpen sucked

Hi, OakA’sHoney.

hi, how's my favorite senior?

I’m fine, I guess.

How are you?

i am well my friend, i hope school is going better for you

Yes, it’s getting better. It’s more tough emotionally than anything.

well stay positive

things change

hi

hey!

Hey OAH

hows your night going?

very well and you?

i was at a bday bbq and we had some very nice wine

nice I had a hell day at work and then came home

I like your story/day better

sorry you had a bad day

That's OK

This thread is helping/the game not so much

cool, were the other threads fun too?

yup

I'M BACK!!!!!!

Had to go get my sister from church.

and by church she means...

You know

She’s getting better, well at least thats what my dad says.

ha

Don't tell family secrets

besides AA is supposed to be anonymous

(AN Anonymous)

Really...

If u only knew

Woo, you’re back.

I on U.

Hey, I’m not doing anything wrong.

just messing.

:: Hands up. ::

Yes I am

Did you miss me while I was gone?

Yes.

Did you miss me?

Yes I did

Aw.

THATS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER.

wat is the right answer?

Sigh.

That’s when he acts coy and suggests that the two of you hang out so you don’t miss each other so much.

GOSH.

He really should ask

I just might say yes

I'm not sure he's allowed out past dark.

It would be basically impossible for us to hang out.

Wrong Answer!

It’s the truth, though.

why?

How are we going to meet up anywhere?

pick a place and figure it out

people do it every day

Usually they don't need parental permission.

I kind of can’t leave the city.

Escape from Sac-town.

It is Sac-town, right?

I live in Modesto.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh shit that sucks

i have an amazing friend and his slightly less but still awesome twin brother who live there… they got out… you should too.

Why????

Are your parents that strict?

He's basically an indentured servant

you need to rescue him

LOL

Uh, yeah.

dude you really need to get creative

public transportation or a bike.

I can drive, but I’m not allowed to just leave the city or whatever.

well you should let me come kidnapp you then

nice!

Kidnap me.

That's nasty

when?

what you doing this weekend

I’m watching college football on Saturday and doing nothing on Sunday.

Well then I'm gonna come hang out with you

I don’t think your uncle will approve.

i'm an adult...

Oh wait that sounds really bad stating the fact that your not

Sigh.

It's ok I've always wanted a guy a lil younger

That’s good for me.

really?

I don’t really have a preference between older girls and younger girls.

oh well in this case im lucky then

I highly recommend.

Shit

What are you talking about???

FTW

Except maybe in this case.

i have no say

As long as they don't post the

details of said meetup on AN. In which case you’d be waiting there with a crowbar no doubt…

Don't tease the guy.

That’ll be way up there on his fantasy list.

I'm not teasing

why?????

This is space that should be occupied by RRS asking you to hang otu

thanks

i’m gonna go cry now

And you were so feisty a moment ago.

I'm a girl....I have a soft side too

You should be careful when you say such things.

somebody (NOT ME, DON) is going to ask something naughty about that soft side.

LOL

Oh this thread is way out of control.

I kinda like it.

Well, damn, I don’t know what the right answer ever is around here.

it was the perfect answer...

don’t listen to them

no no no no no

He’s not supposed to gush over how mushy and cute it is that you both missed each other.

At what point does he cut a hole in a box?

That's step 1.

lol

lol

lol

tell us about stpe 2, something about putting junk...

Yeah

put your ~~pierced~~ junk in the box

very very well played

What do you do when you're not in school?

Post on AN.

I hang out with my friends, play video games, watch television and sit on the computer.

What do you do?

Go out with friends, hang out with my wonderful family, and go to games with my Nino of course!!!

That’s cool.

want to go Friday?

Sure...

Where are we going?

the game

Ok I'm down...

What time is it at?

7-ish

ok so what time are u gonna pick me up?

7-ish

a little past 6

ok

just call me

ATTENTION RRS

THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT

play nice

I guess I’m just not good.

You're fine

Well the subtext is TOTALLY

different, but yeah…

the Minor League Report

LMAO!!!!

perfect

okay Kurt, here is your chance.

Ok Seriously, we have used our bullpen no different tonight...now Wuertz is throwing...

wacchampions - September 1, 2009 reply

it might take geren a few months to get used to all those new players

LOADED w/ 2 out C,mon Suzuk

i just scrolled throught htis thread, lots of references to porn

you naughty naughty minxes

says you

so this pot once met a kettle

seriously

meow

and they were both cast iron?

Allow me

i am

C'mon MLB.com

frakin’ work will ya!

$4.5m a year to play baseball.

It really must be a fantastic world to live in.

shite

shit

Nice- bases loaded.

MOJO!

boo

ah, shit

MLB audio is still down.

And now that damn animated image is slowing down my browser, too.

So I think I’m calling it a night. Bye all.

I might be joining you iglew

damn MLB crashes all the time. I blame Bud

night.

WHYYYYYYYYY

OK...so I just got here and by reading this thread

I have NO CLUE what’s up with this game!!! LOL

BERRYJO - September 1, 2009 reply

then you better not read the last one either.

It's been a good thread then.

wow that call of win #18

sure got my 2002 memory-meter moving.

One of my faves.

THE GIFT SHOP?!!

C’mon, ‘Brody’ that’s stretching it a little.

The lady being interviewed is liar!!!!

And her hair sucks.

She smells like cabbage!

Banned from Honalulu buses?

EEEEEEKKKKKKKK

Anything I can do

to for you?

Yes, please.

rawr

Aren’t you married?

I sense a surge in the estrogen level of this thread

chicks are in the house

Is this a bad thing???

BERRYJO - September 1, 2009 reply

No.

rated-r can hang with the girls

Woo.

as long as I'm invited

There's so many ways one could take that comment.

I like number 3 the best

Not at all

The long thin man is up

This one?

More Shots of Food

Kuiper talking how is is tempted to take the food that is for the paying fans / customers. That goes over well YOU TIGHT ASS with a job.

Blevins!

EEEEEEKKKKKKK

Haha!

Oh! Btw! Got a great cell phone pic of the Z at AN Day.

Do share.

I will.

He posed even!

Such a sweetie!

I almost wanna say he remembered me when I said hi and stuff during the fireworks

but I’m not that pretentious.

The weirdest thing!

He was talking to bbg, and then our eyes locked. He said hi to me, although we’ve never met.

I feel less special now.

You'll always be special.

yea but you know

the little yellow bus kind

Never, darling.

lol

Send me your cell, babe.

You have it! But ok.

I lost it somehow.

So, thanks!

isnt that a song?

Sing it for us,baby!

Must have been love but it's over now

That one right? Why do I know that??

3 pitches!

You are my bitch!!

wooo!

oh dear

Hey now.

There are others around.

I can only have one?

I just get all weird

when you call me bitch in front of everyone.

Sorry, I'll try to be good.

I'll bet.

don't

why would you want to do that?

Alright. You guys win.

in turn, we win

EVERYBODY WINS!

Well I guess MLB.com isn't going to come back on

so see ya. It’s been fun like always everyone.

Bye.

Yay Jerry!

I can’t believe LB missed this!!!!!

Not feeling good,

poor darling.

c'mon boys i expect some scoring

I’m sorry to disappoint you.

too easy

yup got to let that meatball pass

but i want some runs baby

Hey, I'm starting to get the hang of this game.

The blerns are loaded, the count’s three blerns and two anti-blerns and the infield blern rule is in effect, right?

raider nation. be there when history is made?

straw grasping

A history of futility?

A history filled with three Super Bowl titles and 15 division titles?

Terrible.

They have lost at least 11 games for how many years

in a row now?

Six.

That's some futility

right there.

Mind you, they’re not the Detroit Lions…

The good outweighs the bad.

i liked the old raiders. when al was still sane.

yo

yeah the guys across the bay have 5 so STFU

Yeah, so?

The 49ers have more than the Raiders. The Athletics have more than the Giants. I’m fine with that.

I don’t cross my cities like that.

Are they literally just separated by a bridge?

I’ve yet to go.

Pretty much.

NOt THIS weekend.

It’s gonna be icky getting around the bay this weekend!!

BERRYJO - September 1, 2009 reply

Cross your cities?

Eh?

Some people like Oakland for one sport and San Francisco for another.

Like me.

and?

I am an A’s fan, and a 49ers fan. So?

I’m not a fan of the “city”, I’m a fan of the teams.

Uh, okay.

I've been a fan of both of those teams

since at least 25 years before you were born.

What’s your point?

What's yours?

You seem to be the one with the problem.

I don’t have a problem. If you scroll up, you’ll see that I didn’t start this.

so how about those A's huh?

Or those Raiders?

Grrrr!

thats wat i'm talkin bout

They're pretty bad

unfortunately. Hopefully they will improve over the next couple of years.

I was just trying to play peacemaker

though I am not sure why.

I'm not actually mad

at anyone.

A's and 49ers all the way.

except football has become pedantic and boring over the years.

+ eleventybillion

texas with a dollar sign

dude the bay area is just one mega city

its like nyc

Sure.

do you disagree?

I don’t think the Bay Area is just one big mega city. I’m pretty sure the media coverage in New York is great for all of the teams and things like that. Oakland definitely plays second fiddle to San Francisco.

It does

but in reality its far easier to get from sf to oakland than it is to get from LA to LA.

Okay, Modesto.

yup, we suck too

c'mon jack.

run Jack Run, run Jack Run, run Jack Run, run Jack Run

yeah, leadoff jack on

jack on

as opposed to jack…

Jack on jack...

away?

lead-off walk

don't talk to the pitcher. he can throw as many balls as he wants.

robbed us of a 2B

I am glad it was Hairston running and not Powell

2 on no outs

Time for Sweeney to fark it up

yea, switch him out for travis

that was the one play of the game where Hairston can run. he used it at a good time, unless he needs to come around and score… where is patterson?

he better be getting ready to PR

Hairston

tying run at 1st

Who broke?

Gameday says injury delay.

Hairston

hairston aggravated his quad

maybe they can finally dl him so hes not making it worse in meaningless games

I assume hairston's quad.

Patterson’s pinch running now.

Thx guys.

I hate John Gibbons

Rally Hammer!

LOL

have you seen the Hammertime stickers Oaklandish made?

I got one with my shirt

LOL I love those

Also available in GERMAN

Lol'd IRL

http://www.zazzle.com/halt_hammerzeit_tshirt-235814643357732934

Even better

serious LOL

One of my all-time favorites

That's rad.

Next up, Vanilla Ice stickers?

“collaborate and listen…”

That's awesome.

Where's Ted Lilly when you need him?

Fireworks with John Gibbons.

Hit4TheCycle - September 1, 2009 reply

Every time Gibbons goes to the mound

they oought to put a big picture of Ted Lilly up there!!

LOL at the Just For Men ad

Yes! Daddy’s getting laid tonight!

I say let Sweeney hit, risks and all

Nico - September 1, 2009 reply

Haha!

Get on base Ry!

Yay!

Loaded!

hit one for OAH, ryan

yea sweeney, hit it hard

Woo boy lol

I missed that

it does not have the same feel by any body else

well he did get to 1st base...

ok, at least he walked

bases loaded no outs. BIG INNING!!!

unicorn...keep it going

All right, 4-3

and tying run at third!

we have to make them pay for all those BBs

UNICORN

Productive RBI out

KEEP THE LINE MOVING

C'mon Dale, get it out of the infield

RBI for he of single corn

Who's this Dark Button guy?

Isn't he that annoying skating announcer they foist on us every Olympics?

C'mon Daric, Stay above the Mendoza line

I have a ticket in 117 for Sun.

In case anyone wants,

just 1?

If you have no TV coverage

open “Scoreboard” on MLB.com, and the A’s game is onscreen!

They rotate around, but most games are over….

showed RBI by Ellis and the two strickouts

ugh…lowlights!

I'm feeling a 5-run Jimmy Jack from Dale

JediLeroy - September 1, 2009 reply

You suck, Barton

need a cross between him and Everidge. Barton D and Everidge Power. I guess his name is Chris Carter.

Tease is on.

Bad Stapler…

Dammit

DALE FAIL

shit

K on a ball

That's okay, pennington will surely take over

heh

FAIL

Barton fails often it seems

the good news: it was not a GIDP

Yay optimism.

optimism fail

Then Pennington takes over

JediLeroy - September 1, 2009 reply

WP works for me too

WE SUCK

go a’s…

fuck!

pathetic

chipper1001 - September 1, 2009 reply

Aw, crap

way to make them pay for those walks.

shit sucks

Headline on slegnA Board

Angels fisted in Seattle

LOL

ouch

not a fan?

no the word fisted

right

Why do they have a “blame of the game” poll?

because they can!!

some people love the idea of “who’s to blame for this???!!!”

Because Rev Halofan is the biggest retard on the internet

No offense intended to those of special needs.

Damn

Soria remembered he is an all star closer

ninth inning awesome thread is up

HAVE FUN PALS!!!

I continue to be underwhelmed by Barton

I just don’t see him as part of the A’s future with Doolittle, Wallace, Carter getting close. He and Buck = trade bait, IMO. For whatever they’re worth, anyway.

Nico - September 1, 2009 reply

Feel free to give up on him. I'll give him my official endorsement. I still think he's going to hit at the ML level

JediLeroy - September 1, 2009 reply

It means a lot to me.

Nico - September 1, 2009 reply

I don't want to mess

with Patterson.

Not anymore.

Someone clearly took him to one side last year and said “Staplehead, you need to hit for more power” which resulted in him swinging for the fences despite having warning track power. It’s totally ruined him as a hitter.

THIS