His life has been one long paragraph. He doesn't believe in capital punishment letters. A new front page voice is coming to AN in March, 2010, and his name is...

...emperor nobody! We've felt like we were a writer short this year on the front page, with baseballgirl, 67MARQUEZ, Flashfire, and me covering 7 days, and so we've lined up emperor nobody to join the regular crew with the new baseball season, to partake in the game thread, recap, and general front page madness that is AN. We think he's just insane enough to qualify -- heck, he was crazy enough to accept the offer to join the front page.
Why am I telling you this now? Because between now and March, emperor nobody will be easing in as AN's "super sub" and he will be making his illustrious debut tomorrow. That's right: He gets an Edgar Gonzalez start for his game thread debut. Life is cruel.
Now if his debut is anything like mine, first emperor nobody will put up 2 threads at the same time, and then he will accidentally delete Lookout Landing before somehow banning himself while authorizing Guam to invade Canada. Welcome aboard, EN!
0 recs | 71 comments
I think I speak for everyone, or most everyone, when I say,
I can’t wait for your Game Recaps!
But seriously, welcome to the front page and best of luck!
mrbendy - August 31, 2009
Yayyy!
When is designatedforassignment coming on board?
lynnzgal - August 31, 2009
I was wondering when they were going to pass the baton to Tonto.
LoneStranger - August 31, 2009
TY Lynn that means a lot to me
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
You deserve to be a regular
WaddellCanseco - August 31, 2009
Rec'd
nevermoor - August 31, 2009
yep
and I rec’d the Tonto suggestion too!
colin - August 31, 2009
+1
Leopold Bloom - August 31, 2009
Probably when he stops being verball abusive at posters who he finds annoying?
Not exactly front-page decorum, if you know what I mean.
As for as intellect, dedication, and overall writing ability of course he would make a good contributor.
Pucking Insane - August 31, 2009
I feel like he could rise to the challenge.
lynnzgal - August 31, 2009
Hey it works for grover :-P
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
LOL!
Leopold Bloom - August 31, 2009
I agree with this statement.
signed, Kallus
Kallus - September 1, 2009
Guam is a US territory
Canada is safe, as long as they keep sending us bacon.
MobiusKlein - August 31, 2009
Bacon is my friend.
67MARQUEZ - August 31, 2009
Canadian bacon is bastardized bacon
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
I remember my trip to Niagra years ago. I was so sad they gave me ham when I ordered bacon.
I was like, 15.
LoneStranger - August 31, 2009
so you are in favor of a Guam / Canada war then.
Or are you objectively pro-facon?
(facon == fake bacon)
MobiusKlein - August 31, 2009
Bacon and laughing are the same
they both should come from the belly
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Hey noob!
Can you take my shift tonight? ;-)
Looking froward to rookie hazing day. Oh the horror!
Welcome aboard, emperor!
67MARQUEZ - August 31, 2009
I constantly get passed over for these promotions.
This is such a mom and pop organisation. I want a trade. :-P
OldhamA - August 31, 2009
youre finger injury isnt real! you shouldn't be on the DL
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Uh oh
That’s a momentum-killing “youre” right there…
nevermoor - August 31, 2009
lol yeah that was bad
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Let's hear what your dad has to say.
Nico - August 31, 2009
You're lucky, OldhamA
We drafted OldhamB in the later rounds as a token favor to you and your overbearing father, and this is the thanks we get? You publicly trash the organization?
notsellingjeans - August 31, 2009
Congradulations emporer nobody
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
YAY!
Welcome aboard!
baseballgirl - August 31, 2009
Yay!
We’ll try to behave ourselves tomorrow night….at least for the first few innings… ;)
gigglingone - August 31, 2009
now where is the fun in that?
Anarchy and chaos would fit right in with an EN game thread….
Congrats you clever devil…. :)
mrod - August 31, 2009
Is that ee?
Is that ee emperor nobody? Welcome aboard.
Graybeard - August 31, 2009
glad to see
someone keeps track of the cummings and goings around here ;)
emperor nobody - August 31, 2009
impressive.
That was so bad it was good.
whiteshoes40 - August 31, 2009
Who?
oh, nobody.
stormtown - August 31, 2009
Did anyone read the NYT article about Miggy tipping pitches when he played for the A's?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/sports/baseball/30pitch.html?_r=1&ref=baseball
dubstylerz - August 31, 2009
Did anyone read the fanpost about the NYT article about Miggy tipping pitches when he played for the A's?
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Does anyone else here have a job, family, life, etc... that would cause them to miss one topic...
out of the thousands of topics covered on AN?
brenarlo - August 31, 2009
Its also in the daily link dump today
this is neither a DLD nor a Fanpost so just randomly posting it here is uncouth.
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Sorry for not following protocol
I don’t spend much time on AN so forgive me. I thought A’s fans may find this article interesting.
dubstylerz - August 31, 2009
Its ok
Look for something in a fanpost or the DLD first then if you dont find it write a fanpost yourself. It helps keep discussions followable and keeps you from hijacking topics.
Clearly the answer is to spend more time at AN. :-)
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Read the article brenarlo
Unless you find New York Times writers unreliable
dubstylerz - August 31, 2009
CONGRATS EMPEROR NOBODY
ElQuesoCapitan - August 31, 2009
nice pic
I am the big September 1st call-up, hopefully I will stick in the bigs ;)
emperor nobody - August 31, 2009
I don't think you should be called up
Not until about May of next year. That way we gain another year of AN control before you hit free agency.
Faust - August 31, 2009
sweet, sweet Faustus.
Leopold Bloom - August 31, 2009
you all are too kind
Obviously, Nico has not hipped you to the new rule about only Portuguese being allowed spoken in the game threads on Tuesdays next season.
Look at it as an opportunity, friends, to learn a vital new language and impress your pals in Lisbon. If I were you guys, I wouldn’t panic, just hit Google Translate and make sure you know how to say “Aw, Kust struck out with the bases loaded and no one out 4 times in one game?!?” in at least 5 different languages LOLOLOLOL
Seriously thanks for the welcome, friendlies, I will see y’all tomorrow night… hopefully I won’t accidentally delete Halos Heaven when I set up the first thread, Rev hates when that happens.
emperor nobody - August 31, 2009
Todos granizam o Imperador Ninguém!
iglew - August 31, 2009
Isso é o que eu estou falando.
This is a real asset if you’re going through a HUGE Tropicalismo phase like I am; it really makes listening to Brazilian music even more thoroughly awesome than nature intends.
emperor nobody - August 31, 2009
So you're actually fluent?
Did I get the grammar right? I know Portuguese even less than I know French, which I’ve managed to foul up in game threads on more than one occasion….
iglew - August 31, 2009
Wait, that was Portuguese?
I thought it was Elvish.
And I’m guessing that LOL (but perhaps not LOLOLOLOL) is a lot like “OK” – something that originated in English (setting aside any purported Norwegian connection for the moment) and then was adopted by pretty much every language, including Portuguese and Elvish.
Faust - August 31, 2009
Shhhh
We’ve got him convinced it’s English…
As Fan in the Bronx - August 31, 2009
CSS FTW!
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Conexão falhou!
falha ao conectar no servidor, por favor tente novamente mais tarde
Falha no download do componente, tente novamente mais tarde.
MobiusKlein - August 31, 2009
I'm not positive, but I think I've got to ride
three days Westward and protect the forest of Lothlórien.
That, or Mobius wants me to pick up milk on the way home.
Leopold Bloom - August 31, 2009
Hmm...I got something about protecting the milk on the way to the forest.
Portuguese is harrrrrd. :-(
Nico - August 31, 2009
Cut & paste from error dialog box strings
something about failing to connect, try again later.
MobiusKlein - August 31, 2009
but real Portugese
MobiusKlein - August 31, 2009
Let Tomko do it!
No, but seriously, welcome aboard. It’s a good thing I have that Portuguese-English dictionary still lying around!
LeSaboteur - August 31, 2009
Welcome to the front page, emperor nobody!
Great to have you here.
Tyler Bleszinski - August 31, 2009
Oh hai thar emperor nobody.
Awesome.
Blicks - August 31, 2009
ave, o imperator nemo!
sententias dicturi te salutant!
Nick - August 31, 2009
Congrats Emperor!
sua mãe limpa minhas meias
Daniel777 - August 31, 2009
Congrats Emperor
It’s always nice to see another good AN’er get promoted. I hope you got Scott Boras to get you a big bonus.
I guess I should have done this in Portuguese but I’ve barely got English down at this point so I don’t think I’ll risk it.
Oh I have to say I’m loving the photo that comes with this post. The dude with the bug spray is rocking an awesome middle aged man mullet.
sirbed - August 31, 2009
On closer inspection I guess that's a camera the mullet threw off my focus I guess
or I’m just an idiot. I think I know the answer to that one.
sirbed - August 31, 2009
Westside club 5:50 pm
Boy is it quiet here
OaklandSi - August 31, 2009 via mobile
Monday night vs. Kansas City?
You may well be the only fan there tonight.
Nico - August 31, 2009
Im going on Wednesday!
thanks imaseasonticketholder!
designatedforassignment - August 31, 2009
Well there are a few here
OaklandSi - August 31, 2009 via mobile
Emphasis on "few"
6:45 and I’m in the stands
OaklandSi - August 31, 2009 via mobile
Very good EmpNobody - Always looking for a refreshing new by-line.
ak_A - August 31, 2009
I tried to choose you, but I called a few random phone numbers in Colorado
and when they weren’t you I just gave up.
Nico - August 31, 2009
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