And by that, I mean please last into the 3rd inning and keep the damage to less than 5 runs. This is the post where I hate on Brett Tomko for giving me less confidence than Dana Eveland, Edgar Gonzalez, or Dan Freaking Giese, which is hard to do. But you see, Tomko pitching well is actually slightly less likely than finding a pitcher named Danegardan Evezoliese, and let's face it: That's pretty unlikely.
Here are some things I'd like to see tonight:
1. Edgar Gonzalez getting loose in the bullpen as Tomko takes his warmups on the mound before the top of the 1st.
2. Kurt Suzuki putting down four fingers, Tomko calling him out to the mound to double-check the sign, and Suzuki explaining, "I'm calling for Mazzaro's fastball; you think I'm gonna call for yours?"
3. Suzuki putting down nine fingers, then one finger, then one finger. Where's On-Star when you need them?
4. A Scotsman on a horse.
5. The A's bring the infield in with a runner at 1st and nobody out, "just to get a head start."
I kid, I kid, I kid. Brett Tomko is not a horrible pitcher, he's just incapable of getting hitters out. He feels he didn't get "a fair shot" with the Yankees, because after posting a 5.23 ERA in 15 games, the Yankees wouldn't let him pitch for them any more. Even though last year he had proven himself with a 2-7 record, 6.97 ERA, and WHIP of 1.53 "pitching" for Kansas City. 60.2 IP, 80 hits, 11 of them HRs. Oops. Sounds like a lot of "shots" that stayed "fair," Brett!
What IS impressive about Tomko, in fairness to the guy, is that he's consistent. Here are his ERAs since 1998: 4.44, 4.92, 4.68, 5.19, 4.49, 5.28, 4.04, 4.48, 4.73, 5.80, 4.61, 6.97, 5.23. That's right, one season with an ERA below 4.44. So essentially, any 2-inning period in which Tomko gives up only 1 run means he's "really on his game right now."
What you'll hear scouts say is that Tomko "has a good arm." But no one ever asks the crucial follow-up question: Which arm? Tomko's left arm is like Derek Holland's back: Hubba hubba, folks. Sadly, the right one produces bombs at a rate rivaled only by CBS' comedy department. ("Tonight on The New Adventures Of Old Tomko: Hilarity ensues when the Yankees find themselves with five baserunners but only three bases they're allowed to be on, and Wanda Sykes has plenty to say about it.")
Go get 'em tonight, Brett! We kid because we love we're frightened.
0 recs | 146 comments
Tonight is going to suck.
There’s no good reason to start Tomko. Hell, let Jerome Williams try and prove he can do something still.
mikev - August 17, 2009
I still think Tomko begged for one start against the Yankees...
…just because he thinks he can stick it to them.
Stranger things have happened.
Flashfire - August 17, 2009
you think he's worked out a Pay to Play scheme?
Is this the A’s new money making idea? obv, they’ve got trial it with a
exballplayer first, so that hopefully no-one will noticebobnothing - August 17, 2009
Pitchers willing to pay to play is the new market weakness.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
My guess
…is that you may be right. Sometimes making it personal can work.
And sometimes, a crappy pitcher is still a crappy pitcher. I’d rather see Kirk Saarloos or Lenny DiNardo out there instead of Tomko. But at least it’s not Shawn Chacon (who has actually pitched some decent games in the past five years).
richwol1 - August 17, 2009
Tell kirk
Bobby mercer ran over his childhood puppy
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MMunoz33 - August 17, 2009
Brett Tomko
Intriguing
Hit4TheCycle - August 17, 2009
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!?
Boonee - August 17, 2009
"Brett Tomko" is an anagram for "Tomb Trek To"
So, yes.
vegAN ryAN - August 17, 2009
Rotoworld always good for a laugh
oblique - August 17, 2009
what I expect
5 innings and 3 runs. If he can just get through 5 innings that would be good. hat those yanks but not epecting to win today. Mazzaro is the concern if he can get over his head games and just pitch. Geren please start Powell and give Kurt a day off!
Arcman - August 17, 2009
Hilarious writeup.
A+
jeepers - August 17, 2009
Yeah, +1
That line about “bringing the infield in” totally cracked me up!
paris7 - August 17, 2009
And also the part about “which arm?” Good stuff, Nico.
speckops - August 17, 2009
:-)
Thanks.
Nico - August 17, 2009
The one that made me LOL was
“I’m calling for Mazzaro’s fastball; you think I’m gonna call for yours?”
iglew - August 17, 2009
Seconded
day-to-day - August 17, 2009
At Least
Chad Gaudin is not starting in this series.
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
The Chad would crush us if he got the chance
I still think he could have become a strong 3/4 option in the rotation had we given him the chance. Then again, I liked Donnie Murphy, so what do I know?
As far as Tomko-time, I think we’re going to see a lot more of this type of thing as Billy tries to limit IP for Cahill and Anderson and to a lesser extent, Mazzaro. Is it ugly? Sure; but avoiding another Outman blowout in the future will make it worth it and limiting their IP in Aug/Sept is the best way to protect them.
cityplANner - August 17, 2009 via mobile
I expect
an 8 pitcher rotation in september
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
In September? How about by the 6th inning?
Nico - August 17, 2009
Did Larussssa try that?
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
Doubt it
Gaudin’s been terrible this year and he was even worse in pitcher-friendly Petco.
Let him go, man. Let him goooooo.
Flashfire - August 17, 2009
Terrible's a strong word.
His K is actually quite good (109K in 108.1 IP), and he’s only giving up about a hit an inning. What’s killing him is walks, as he has 57 of them. He’s still very good at keeping the ball in the yard, too (only 8 HR). Since he’s still only 26, I think there’s a lot to still like about him.
jeepers - August 17, 2009
cajun style
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
I’m willing to bet that H/9 and K/9 are pretty tightly correlated. That’s the whole concept behind BABIP. Also, with something like Petco, I’d want to use xFIP instead of FIP to normalize for the spacious dimensions of it.
speckops - August 17, 2009
Apparently starting on Wed against Brett Anderson
Hit4TheCycle - August 17, 2009
yeah he is, he goes wednesday
PL78 - August 17, 2009
This post by Nico
is the type of thing that makes me love this site. Great stuff.
sirbed - August 17, 2009
I never know if I am supposed to reply to comments like this,
but they are always treasured. :-)
Nico - August 17, 2009
And we treasure your comments.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Except the ones you hate!
It’s like Crosby: Just throw out all the bad ABs and the guy’s hitting .812.
Nico - August 17, 2009
We love ALL your comments.
It’s YOU we hate! Throw out all the bad Nicos and we’d have… Noco?
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Oh thank God.
I thought you hated my comments. Yeah, I suck; this I realize.
Nico - August 17, 2009
That's the first step to recovery.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
No wait, now that I think about it
it’s all your fault that I suck.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Denial.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
WHAT??? JERK!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t tend to go through the stages in classic order.
{Call me — I can change, really.}
Nico - August 17, 2009
Just as long as you get through the stages, I'm not sure it matter which order they're done in.
If you’re down with it, undies can go on over the pants.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
What are undies?
And have you seen my pants?
Nico - August 17, 2009
I am completely bored at work, so I decided to downsize his career numbers
into a ridiculously optimistic 6 IP for tonight. The results:
6 IP, 6.31 hits, 3.37 runs, 1.93 BB, 3.99 K
Fully aware of the flawed, faulty basis of my projection process, I would totally be stoked with a similar line from Tomko tonight!!!
Forever the optimist…
dtownmbrown - August 17, 2009
Especially if he allowed that extra .37 run, making it not a quality start.
That’d be cool.
speckops - August 17, 2009
To make things even more fun, our defensive alignment should be:
Nomar: 3B
Cust: SS
Everidge: 2B
Rajai: 1B
Rajai: Also LF
Powell: CF
Casilla: RF
Crosby: C
But seriously, what’s the roster move going to be to call B-Tom up? SuSlu says Nomar might be a goner.
vegAN ryAN - August 17, 2009
I hope Nomar is given to the Red Sox to finish his career there.
I think he deserves it, though I hate to give the Red Sox anything to be happy about.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Agreed,
but I’d also settle for bye bye Casilla.
iglew - August 17, 2009
That 1B/LF Combo is a riot!
That’s two LMAOs in quick sequence – first Nico’s Preview, now this!
paris7 - August 17, 2009
Sadly, Crosby might be able to catch. Cust at SS would be a treat.
speckops - August 17, 2009
Why cant we just trade for Eric Byrnes so he can play all 3 OF spots and help out Cust at SS?
PL78 - August 17, 2009
also: remember when Byrnes said he could play SS or 3B if needed? lol
JUST BECAUSE YOURE STANDING THERE DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN PLAY IT!
PL78 - August 17, 2009
I think he meant 'play' as in 'a play.' He'd be acting.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
"Is this a grounder I see before me?
Forsooth, ‘tis now rolling in the corner. Ah, if only ’twere true that ’fair is foul and foul is fair!’"
Nico - August 17, 2009
Bravo!
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
"I'm not a shortstop, but I play one on TV."
iglew - August 17, 2009
I see that Rotoworld just posted
it’s Cunningham that’s being sent down.
mrod - August 17, 2009
LOL
Technotofu - August 17, 2009
Duke returning to cool off the Yankees would have made for a nice storyline
The guy hasn’t pitched all season. How can he not have his non-baseball-related issues sorted out by now? If he’s not hurt he should be pitching. I just don’t get it. Anyone know what’s going on?
landerik - August 17, 2009
Introducing your 2010 Oakland Athletics Long Reliever, Justin Duchshererererer.
I think the non-baseball related issues are still an injury. Maybe he tweaked his back getting out of bed. I hate to say it, but I don’t think he’s going to be doing anything else this year, at least not on the big club. Maybe he’ll be cheap to resign for next year.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Speculation has been going on that he could have an illness
The reason being in some cases medical privacy is pointed out, vs. something like “family emergency.”
I dunno.
Flashfire - August 17, 2009
Swine flu
Or as I like to call it, “hamthrax”
cityplANner - August 17, 2009 via mobile
Baconenza?
jeepers - August 17, 2009
Do you catch that in Hamsterdam?
Nick - August 17, 2009
You can get it from a third base coach,
if he gives a porcine.
Nico - August 17, 2009
You’re slinging again?
speckops - August 17, 2009
what I expect
2 innings- 9 hits, 7 runs. I, too, would rather have Eveland pitching than Tomko. The only job Tomko deserves is being the pitcher at the All-Star Home run derby.
drrose - August 17, 2009
Really, I wish they would have asked ME to pitch.
I’d do just as good.
mikev - August 17, 2009
And Tomko's a pretty good blogger
Switchsies!!!!
Nico - August 17, 2009
It's an upgrade on both accounts!
mikev - August 17, 2009
Aww, t'ain't so!
paris7 - August 17, 2009
It t'ain't your hmm and it t'ain't your hah.
It just t’ain’t.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Nico...I thought I was reading something written by 67M...
did he rub off on you?
ZigFan31 - August 17, 2009
I think I have a salve for that
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
Please send to Berkeley stat!
ZigFan31 - August 17, 2009
Fixed it for you
speckops - August 17, 2009
hopefully this works as a reverse jinx
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
Well, not anymore
Reverse jinx doesn’t work if you say it’s supposed to be a reverse jinx.
iglew - August 17, 2009
What if you say it's supposed to be a reverse-reverse jynx?
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Is it merely the mention of a jinx that will nix said jinx,
or does said mention of a jinx require a declaration of intent?
If someone merely muses about a desire for a reverse-effect on said jinx, is that in itself a jinx of the aforementioned request that the original post would provide a reverse-jinx?
dtownmbrown - August 17, 2009
I believe the mere mention of a possible jinx or reverse-jinx will nullify any positive outcome
At least when it pertains to a positive outcome desired by the person doing the mentioning. Even if the intent or desire for a particular outcome is never stated, it usually is present implicitly by context which is sufficient to nullify the jinx’s positive (or anti-negative) effects.
However, I think discussing this for a Hopeless Cause such as Brett Tomko provides the opportunity for everyone to get on board with the idea and the understanding not to mention it ever again for future games/seasons.
JLeverenz - August 17, 2009
I am the biggest Yankees fan ever
God bless Chris Chambliss.
I am so excited that the A’s are going to start the upcoming series with Brett Tomko. There will be runs o plenty for my wonderful Yankees.
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
notice I didn't actually call for one
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
that realization prompted my inquiry
dtownmbrown - August 17, 2009
Is this a rhetorical question, or am I supposed to answer it?
Here’s my reasoning:
A regular jinx is when you say “we’re going to win” (or some other good result) and by saying so you spoil it. So a reverse jinx would be when you say you’re sure of something bad (eg, Tomko sucking) and by saying so you make it not happen. But it only works if you really mean that you’re sure he’s going to be bad. If you say “wink wink, I’m only saying this to get a reverse jinx” then you don’t really mean it, thus no reverse jinx.
So technically what nixed the jinx here was saying “hopefully this works”, because that — unlike Nico, who was thorough in his pessimism — you are acknowledging that you actually still have hope that Tomko won’t suck.
… um, not that I believe in any of this stuff…
iglew - August 17, 2009
I predict 4 innings, no runs
unfortunately, there will be a 4 run inning sandwiched inbetween
MobiusKlein - August 17, 2009
I'm a Scotsman
Somebody just needs to get me a horse.
Lafayette Scotsman - August 17, 2009
I'll require your kingdom in return, please
bobnothing - August 17, 2009
I think we're gonna play...
7 guys in the outfield tonight. I surely wouldn’t want to be dodging bullets at 1st or 3rd base. Do they get combat pay?
Keystone State - August 17, 2009
I have to agree with Rotoworld's synopsis
on Duke. Man up and at least TRY to earn 1/30th of what we’re paying you this year. Players have had divorces before why does his keep him from joining the team all the time?
PL78 - August 17, 2009
I noticed that even in the positive report
on his rehab start in Arizona they mentioned that his velocity was down. Velocity has never been “up” with Duchscherer, even at his best.
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
wait Duke is getting a divorce?
cuppingmaster - August 17, 2009
Still?
It’s one hell of an acrimonious one if so—that was announced a long time ago.
jeepers - August 17, 2009
so long ago I had forgotten
cuppingmaster - August 17, 2009
apparently every time he’s had to skip a start in his rehab due to “personal matters” its been because of a custody battle. I know it sounds heartless but he’s only needed every 5th day, Im sure they can work around his schedule.
PL78 - August 17, 2009
Family comes first. Then Baseball.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
Maybe she's asking the court for custody of the cutter
Then it all comes together.
Nico - August 17, 2009
If reports are true, you'd think she already got custody of his velocity.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
well that's been gone for years
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
Looks like she also got custody of a half-or-so of his starts.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
seriously, though
Duchscherer went through the divorce during the 2007-08 off season. I suspect that is not the “non-baseball related” problem that is keeping him from starting.
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
We lack any information, so our imaginations are free to run wild.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
I agree
but given that the divorce battle was two years ago, it’s far more likely that it’s a different issue. Slusser –- who is likely to have more info than we do — suspects a medical issue.
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
I'm beginning to think it's a non-baseball medical issue.
And my imagination doesn’t see anything but bad from that.
LoneStranger - August 18, 2009
Trett Bomko
Yeah, he’s probably going to get shelled, but that’s the beauty of baseball where anything can happen. Like Ringo said “Tomorrow Never Knows”.
Coach Cleats - August 17, 2009
That was John
richwol1 - August 17, 2009
I guess we're still waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Rotoworld now has Tomko’s promotion as official, and it’s on the A’s website, but I don’t see anything about a corresponding roster move. Hopefully someone claimed Nomar and we’re in the process of getting something for him.
jeepers - August 17, 2009
not like the the front office has better things to do today
Future Ed - August 17, 2009
Cunningham was sent down.
Nathaniel Stoltz - August 17, 2009
What a waste of two weeks for him.
Welcome back to the log jam in Sacto.
bababooey - August 17, 2009
He sat on the bench badly?
The A’s really care about posture.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Yep. That and splinters
bababooey - August 17, 2009
Maybe they didn't like
him dropping that routine popup yesterday in RF
Technotofu - August 17, 2009
He and I sure didn't care much for it,
so I imagine the A’s brass didn’t feel any different.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Still no reason for the cold shoulder.
speckops - August 17, 2009
according to Slusser
nobody told Cunningham.
She remarks on what she thinks might be some communication issues this season on the part of the A’s management, and not only with Cunningham.
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009
Somehow seems reasonable to want to know before RotoWorld knows.
Nico - August 17, 2009
I totally agree
Oh, BTW, you’ve been traded to Fear the Fin for a blogger to be named later. Sorry.
Nick - August 17, 2009
Great. And me with my dolphin phobia.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Um,
there are actually Sharks, not dolphins over there.
idunno723 - August 17, 2009
...with frickin' lasers on their heads!
oblique - August 17, 2009
I was only referring to the "fin"
Truth is, I’m actually French and I’m deeply afraid of endings.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Ridiculous
day-to-day - August 17, 2009
And why is this Steverson's responsibility anyway?
day-to-day - August 17, 2009
"I gave the info to Bengie Molina ,
and asked Bengie to tell Cunningham, but somehow he didn’t get to Cunningham in time," Steverson explained.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Stassi signs with A's
As per MLBTradeRumors.
Orodawg - August 17, 2009
thats awesome
chipper1001 - August 17, 2009
At least they're conscious of our young pitchers arms
and we don’t have Nolan Ryan and Dusty Baker running the team. Our guys’ arms would seriously fall off.
NateHST - August 17, 2009
Situation Tomko
What Giants fans used to say back when he started for them. He was horrendous, obviously, but apparently quite the artist as the Gmen handed out a poster one night of his sketches – still have that.
Tonight will be brutal theatre, but I wouldn’t dare miss it.
scoo0oop - August 17, 2009
Sounds like a sketchy character
Nico - August 17, 2009
you're bottomless with those witticisms, aren't you?
cuppingmaster - August 17, 2009
He's bottomless, yes.
Put some pants on, Nico.
LoneStranger - August 17, 2009
now that's an image I didn't need
cuppingmaster - August 17, 2009
I've been bottomless ever since the day I laughed my ass off.
Nico - August 17, 2009
shall I pencil you in for tonight?
ak_A - August 17, 2009
So my A's are starting Brett Tomko
against the best team in the American League and my Raiders have a Head Coach who likes to go around breaking the jaws of his assistant coaches. One thing is for sure if the A’s keep throwing guys like Tomko out there Oakland is going to lead the sporting world in knockouts.
sirbed - August 17, 2009
The only thing I have to say in regards to #4 is...
Lemon curry?
BleedGreen - August 17, 2009
Errr, I will not interrupt the top of the 1st inning for a pound.
Nick - August 17, 2009
Livan Hernandez is kind of the appetizer to Brett Tomko
5.1 IP, 11 hits, so far 5 ER. As his “parting pitch,” he just tried to give up a grand slam to Schierholz but missed by a couple feet.
Nico - August 17, 2009
Wings and Fat Tire Ale at the Westside Club
Watched the Rangers rough up Francisco Liriano— who hasn’t been the same pitcher since his operation.
BART was full of A’s fans. Sure, lots of Yankee fans, but lots of A’s fans here.
I think this is the first time I’ve posted from the Coli…
OaklandSi - August 17, 2009 via mobile
Liriano's kind of a sad story, in that
prior to his injury he looked like one of the most exciting young pitchers in the game. He may never get back there.
Nico - August 17, 2009
For awhile there Liriano looked like he was going
to make Twins fans not feel so bad about losing Santana but now he looks like just another pitcher who has had injury ruin his career. I think guys like this are why teams are so reluctant to spend big money on pitching.
As much as I get down on the A’s not keeping anyone it’s hard to argue that they made a mistake not investing huge money to keep any of the big 3. Two of them have broken down and the one guy whose stayed healthy is a 15 million dollar a year five inning pitcher.
This is just another reason why I hope some of the good young players that fuel the next A’s run are hitters and not just the young starting pitchers.
sirbed - August 17, 2009
What's something like that cost at the WSC?
LoneStranger - August 18, 2009
wings $9.50, draft beer $7.50
plus tax was $18 and change, plus I tipped of course
they give you a good amount of wings, plus carrots and celery and the bleu cheese dressing to dip.
OaklandSi - August 18, 2009
I love me some wings.
I’ll have to try it sometime. You sit there the whole game?
LoneStranger - August 18, 2009
So...this is...
awkward.
Nico - August 18, 2009
Hi.
LoneStranger - August 18, 2009
Reverse jinxing = nothing new
PL78 - August 18, 2009
You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Athletics Nation to post a comment.