Just like the team we cover, AN's 2010 lineup of front page writers will have little power, and will be mostly defensive. What else is new? Here's how it looks, including a new addition to the "front page team"...
As he mentioned in a recent thread, Flashfire is stepping back to focus more (pun intended) on his photography. So let me first take this opportunity to publicly thank Flashfire for his excellent work, and dedication, to the front page. Only those who have managed a "day" on AN know how much time, energy, and most of all commitment, it takes to do well by the blog and make sure that game threads and recaps occur throughout the season, and that new content appears in the off-season. Writing on the front page is often similar to being an umpire: It's when people most notice you that you know you're probably doing a bad job. Thank you, Flashfire, and hope to see you on the front page again soon -- probably the next time I need a sub because I'm busy losing North Dakota (and South Dakota following a terrible decision to "double down") at River Rock.
Joining the front page crew is a guy who needs to buy a vowel but is otherwise well equipped (or so I've heard): danmerqury, most recently seen posting the "AFL pitch FX" series (James Simmons, Sam Demel, Mickey Storey, Grant Desme). Along with providing some posts of a more statistical, data-based nature as part of his "toolbox," danmerqury has also intimated he will tackle the project of updating the ANcillary terms and adding a "Metrics for Dummies" section that includes basic definitions and links to more detailed explanations. Welcome, danmerqury!
The projected lineup for 2010 now looks like this:
Mondays - emperor nobody (hopefully he'll have a good Spring; I know he recently had a good fall)
Tuesdays - danmerqury (making his debut next Tuesday, January 5th)
Wednesdays - baseballgirl (the true "face of AN"!)
Thursdays - 67MARQUEZ (congratulations, you're now 3rd in tenure -- but not 10th in thirdure)
Fridays - baseballgirl (I don't care what Cindi says about your hair, we love you!)
Saturdays - Nico (I know, I know -- I tried to get rid of his but his FIP is so damn good)
Sundays - Nico (OK, his FIP isn't actually that good, but have you seen his ass? Or even just his pants? Call me)
And that's the lineup, until 67MARQUEZ and baseballgirl switch a Thursday and Friday, emperor nobody subs for me on a Sunday, danmerqury runs a special piece on Monday...So yeah...Stuff will be posted a lot by somebody. Go A's!
0 recs | 166 comments
But who's on third?
cuppingmaster - December 29, 2009
Third plate?
Guess who!!!!!!!!!!!! :-}
-Cindi
Nico - December 29, 2009
Metrics for Dummies!!!
Yay! I’ve been looking around for one of those. Plus I meet all the qualifications.
A'shole - December 29, 2009
You certainly seem like a metric. :-)
Nico - December 29, 2009
Only half metric
On my father’s side
A'shole - December 30, 2009
+1
I’m looking for one of those as well not that you are a metric or a dummy. Great idea for AN.
Ovale Fan - December 29, 2009
hope you dumb it all they way down to me. please include helpful hints such as “big number is bad” and the alternate but just as popular “big number is good.” i’m at that level. thank you.
AV - December 29, 2009
OK so I'm NOT the only who gets totally confused
by the dots. “3.8”? I mean, the 3 is small but the 8 is big, so what does that even mean????
-Cindi
Nico - December 29, 2009
I worry about you
Cindi, not so much…
BleedGreen - December 29, 2009
Interesting you say that --
my psychiatrist says exactly the same thing.
Nico - December 29, 2009
I knew I missed my calling
BleedGreen - December 29, 2009
You should get an answering machine.
LoneStranger - December 31, 2009
No. I have "ignore waiting."
Nico - December 31, 2009
Looking forward to a new year of AN!
LoneStranger - December 29, 2009
Great addition
As for the rest of you…
pam5981 - December 29, 2009 via mobile
I tried to fire myself, really I did.
But it turns out I’m a really shrewd negotiator.
Nico - December 29, 2009
I cast myself in a show once.
I was my third choice for the part. The other two guys said no, so I had to settle for me.
True story.
iglew - December 29, 2009
You should turned it down on the basis that you didn't ask you first.
Nico - December 29, 2009
If the other two guys sucked, I would have been offended.
But they really would have been better than me, so I didn’t mind knowing I was my third choice.
iglew - December 29, 2009
Eric Chavez sighting?
We already counting him out?
Ovale Fan - December 29, 2009
No, it's open casket.
Nico - December 29, 2009
(Borscht belt drum roll)
Jackie Mason, ladies and gentlemen… at 6, 8, and the blue show at 11.
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
This is old-timey, and thus makes me LOL
Joey C. - December 31, 2009
Five hundred and one, Bob!
danmerqury - December 29, 2009
congrats man!
stm72 - December 29, 2009
Looking forward to your work!
WaddellCanseco - December 29, 2009
Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy!!!
Can’t wait for the SFD (Stats for Dummies). I’m not dumb – just lazy!! My brain is just too full of other worthless info to try to “get” stats!! I know you’ll be great!
Berry Jo - January 3, 2010
Sounds great
OaklandSi - December 29, 2009 via mobile
Most excellent. What a
well run, fun, informative, and satisfying site.
With my ADD I vocalize him in my mind as Dam Mercury.
ak_A - December 29, 2009
Tonto thought he was slot in Wednesday spot
Tonto call lawyer.
Tonto Like Baseball - December 29, 2009
With case, AN recommend
big wap-a-pap lawyer or else Tonto dead in water like career of Santiago Casilla.
Nico - December 29, 2009
Tonto
leave front page to squirrels and bears
easyraider - December 29, 2009
Tonto having his own column on Wednesdays
Yes pls
Actually, just replace “The Gobbler” on Saturdays if you like Tonto.
Daniel777 - December 29, 2009
Mostly, I'm pleased as this gives me the opportunity to make more period table jokes
it’s elementary, really
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
We call him DHg for short?
iglew - December 29, 2009
There are so many options
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
Periodic Table?
muffinpryde - December 29, 2009
I admit it, I laughed....
gigglingone - December 29, 2009
I can recite the periodic table by heart,
but I don’t know where my pants are. (But I know where the A’s are.)
Nico - December 29, 2009
stolen joke
you hear about chuck norris? he destroyed the periodic table. yep. he sez he only recognizes the element of surprise.
AV - December 29, 2009
Many many years ago, at a friend's "Gong Show",
I sang Tom Lehrer’s “Elements” song while simultaneously writing all the abbreviations in their place on a periodic table drawn on a dry erase board, in time with the music. I practiced a looooong time to be able to do that.
But someone else chose to showcase actual real talent instead, so I only got second place.
iglew - December 29, 2009
I would've been more impressed with yours. I'm certain.
That’s a fast fucking song.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
I would have done Ken Nordine's "Colors"
with 37 layers of tearaway clothing on, shedding a layer for each color.
That would have been good for third, right?
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
Well, I wasn't quite up to speed.
Especially that last line with chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, which necessitated an artful ritard.
iglew - December 30, 2009
OK that's just begging for a sassy reply!
Like, “When an artful ritard is needed, I always think of you.”
Nico - December 30, 2009
tungsten tin and sodium!
Am I right? Without spotting me four elements, I could never have finished that line (although I fancy I still remember the “antimony arsenic aluminum selenium…” part). I didn’t peek, at least not for the past few decades… I’d have loved to have heard your little gig.
Faust - December 31, 2009
sweet sweet Faustus.
Leopold Bloom - December 31, 2009
Yes, that's right.
Come to think of it, I interpolated “lawrencium” in there, which is missing in Lehrer’s original. I squeezed it in by removing the “and also” at mendelevium. I think I also had to swap something to make the syllables all fit, but I forget the details. That was a long time ago.
iglew - January 2, 2010
Boy, you sure are the kind of "second and third choice"
No wonder you love the A’s.
Nico - December 30, 2009
Indeed. Quirky entertainment > actual talent
iglew - December 30, 2009
YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!!
mikev - December 30, 2009
Speaking of slots, and River Rock...
Sorry, Nico, no blackjack trips for me for a while. Thought I could go this week, but got a sidelong glance from the better half, and January will be crazy. I’ll keep it in the back of my mind, though!
paris7 - December 29, 2009
Darn it. I'll be eagerly awaiting your "call" in February, then...
Daddy needs his winnings!
Nico - December 29, 2009
Call me anytime...
I love to parlay and double down baby!
mrod - December 29, 2009
I'm on break all this week, comrade... :-)
Nico - December 29, 2009
I'll see what kind of shape I'm in after NYE. Have to work till then
If I still have any brain cells left perhaps some blackjack might be in order…get back to ya on that one.
mrod - December 29, 2009
You kids should just go read
“Harrington On Hold ’Em” and go play poker instead. You’ll lose less money.
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
The first, second or third part?
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
Hold 'em is definitely my game
but I like to play blackjack as well. When in Rome……
mrod - December 30, 2009
Pants
Nico, speaking of pants, I think you need to go with something like this for 2010.
Rated-R Superstar - December 29, 2009
MAKEOVER!
lynnzgal - December 29, 2009
Looks like my nephew who is 15 at the moment
and I always ask him if he pooped his pants or is too poor to afford a pair that actually fits!
mrod - December 29, 2009
Then he flashes a $100.00 bill and you try to leave the room quickly?
Nico - December 29, 2009
Hell, if my nephew ever flashed a hundo in front of me
well, let’s just say he wouldn’t do something silly like that again!
mrod - December 29, 2009
nephew flashes Benjamin
mrod grabs Benjamin
nephew pulls gun and holds it sideways…
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
"Boy you won't like it when I roll up wit da full up clip...."
Na! He’s a total joker….he couldn’t hurt a fly.
mrod - December 30, 2009
Can I just say that the "sagging baggy pants" look
is among my very least favorite of all the “fashion trends” in my lifetime? (The pants in that photo are WAY better than a lot of what I see every day.)
I don’t need to know what color underwear every boy in the school wears. And I’ve literally seen guys playing basketball defense while pulling their pants up with both hands, and dribbling with one hand while pulling up their pants with the other.
Nico - December 29, 2009
Just be glad the whole backwards clothes Kris Kross thing isn't still around.
danmerqury - December 29, 2009
Funny thing is...
There’s a whole macho mentality about that particular look. And yet, if you ask any guy who is sporting the “dropped drawers look” if they know what the symbolism behind it is or where it originated from, you’ll probably get a “WTF?” response….
If you don’t know what it means, well….in prison guys who “prefer other guys” let others in the joint know this by wearing their pants “with their drawers exposed.” I’m not kidding….I have several friends who did time and they all confirm this to be true.
:0
mrod - December 29, 2009
I've also asked many, many girls
if they found that look attractive in boys. I have yet to hear one “yes.”
Nico - December 29, 2009
your mom and your aunts don't count as "girls"
ak_A - December 29, 2009
You should try the question
‘Do you prefer these on me like this, or off all together?’
You’d be surprised how many ladies suddenly like the look. Actually, I find I can use that question to get almost anyone to say they like my get up
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
But all they need is for ONE girl to say yes
MY ex-GF comes to mind here…
cuppingmaster - December 30, 2009
I thought it was
that the most ‘dangerous’ prisoners (those on death row) were not allowed belts; this, combined with weight loss resulting from poor prison nutrition meant that their pants were always falling down.
Though, your version is more amusing, and will be the one I shall be telling people who are wearing their jeans thusly
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
Make sure you end with, "Not that there's anything wrong with it."
Nico - December 29, 2009
'of course, I'm all in favor of that sort of thing; I can introduce you to my friend over there, if you like'
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
Oh yes, the old "my friend"...
Nico - December 29, 2009
This is a new one to me.
But hell, it could be true. Most of the prison stories you hear are true….in one form or another.
alox - December 29, 2009
macho, yet… ever seen someone trying to save the sag from getting dirty by putting ponytail ties on the back of the pant cuff? now that’s macho.
AV - December 29, 2009
I thought it was a non-prison thing
Low pants = being weighed down by something = carrying a gun.
nevermoor - December 30, 2009
Great. Now I'm afraid to go back to my school.
Nico - December 30, 2009
that look’s gone on for way too long. part of why i’m loving the jerkin’ movement. (the other part is that, finally, a movement named after me!)
AV - December 29, 2009
The Generation X got replaced by Generation Y
elcroata - December 30, 2009
'Cuz I'm the miggida-miggida-miggida-miggida-mack dadddy
‘Cuz I’m the miggida-miggida-miggida-miggida mack.
Joey C. - December 30, 2009
First off,
I’m not sure Don’s still alive. If he was, NO WAY he’d agree to another year of front page-ism. Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that Nico has killed him and taken his skin and is set to pose as “Don” on Thursdays.
Since BBG has been around a number of years now, I assume she has either discovered his secret and is currently blackmailing him, or has joined him in their twisted little AN gatherer slayings.
So I’d say that both en and danmerqury should sleep with one eye open and hire extra security where possible. And the rest of us should not take this lightly—eventually, he’ll ask us all.
Leopold Bloom - December 29, 2009
Exactly one of your guesses is correct.
This is based on extreme inside information so I can’t say more. However, Maicer Izturis is involved.
Nico - December 29, 2009
BBG is quite wily.
And you have no self-control.
Leopold Bloom - December 29, 2009
Yeah, but Don is neither young nor does he lock his front door at night, so...
Nico - December 29, 2009
So he lives in Canada
Eh?
cuppingmaster - December 30, 2009
Are you suggesting I'm fortunate to still be alive and safe?
Flashfire - December 29, 2009
Or alive anyway.
Nico - December 29, 2009
Either way, if you guys ever do need a fill-in here and there and can give me enough advance notice...
…I might be able to depending on my availability.
Flashfire - December 29, 2009
Now THAT'S the kind of commitment I like to see!
Nico - December 29, 2009
yes.
but you may also be dead.
You’re tall. Nico wouldn’t fit into your skin. Therefore, he’s playing it off like you quit. I’m telling you, he’s evil. And apparently not a very good planner.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
LB, one of these days, they're gonna ask you or me...
and hopefully I’ll stop laughing long enough to regain my breath and not die.
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
OK, that crosses the line
Nobody calls me a bad planner.
Nico - December 30, 2009
But watch out for Mychael Urban.
iglew - December 30, 2009
Good evening, Clarice.
LoneStranger - December 31, 2009
"Would you ____ goats?"
“I’d ____ goats.”
(“Goodbye Horses” playing in background)
Joey C. - December 30, 2009
Completely, Entirely Unrelated Note: I'd avoid the next Chez Nico.
danmerqury - December 31, 2009
To do that you'd have to be invited.
BURN!!!!
Nico - December 31, 2009
(don't go.
He’ll take your skin off like one of those Ronco Peelers…)
Leopold Bloom - December 31, 2009
Sweet.
One more year of not contributing. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
mikev - December 29, 2009
Supervisor
The job can be yours.
Rated-R Superstar - December 29, 2009
I do a lot of watching.
mikev - December 29, 2009
Must be frustrating to follow a team that does so little scoring.
Nico - December 29, 2009
Maybe
The Warriors score a lot of points, though.
Rated-R Superstar - December 29, 2009
I was just thinking that
bobnothing - December 29, 2009
The silence from the stathead crew is deafening
Can’t danmerqury get a little love?
jeepers - December 29, 2009
I'm looking forward to it.
I really hope to make sense of this whole “war” thing one day.
alox - December 29, 2009
Which stathead crew?
Do we all hvae to have like scarlet letters for our user pictures so you can easily identify us or something?
mikev - December 29, 2009
I think a maroon colored "tRA" would be nice.
Nico - December 29, 2009
Done
Rated-R Superstar - December 29, 2009
Towel Repair Associates
We’ll mend your towels in under an hour, or DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK.
Yes, our mobile sweatshop will come TO YOUR HOME!
Gaijin_Suketto - December 30, 2009
I don't know.
I’ve regularly been branded anti-stats, even though I’m not, so I could ask you the same question.
jeepers - December 29, 2009
Couldn't tell ya
for as much as I post here, I don’t really look at usernames much.
mikev - December 29, 2009
Did you use "we" accidentally, then?
jeepers - December 29, 2009
oui
mikev - December 29, 2009
Well, bonus points for bilingual puns.
I love me some puns.
jeepers - December 29, 2009
and also I just watched Inglorious Basterds again
mikev - December 29, 2009
I've also been branded anti-stats even though I'm not --
I’m just “pro eyeball.” At least in the season’s first trimester.
Nico - December 29, 2009
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY HAIR?
baseballgirl - December 29, 2009
Idea
Go with something like that.
Rated-R Superstar - December 29, 2009
(drool)
Joey C. - December 29, 2009
Seriously
Rated-R Superstar - December 30, 2009
(double drool)
Joey C. - December 31, 2009
Yourhair iz turist.
iglew - December 30, 2009
there is absolutely nothing wrong at all with your hair.
But if you need any work done or any product, I suggest going to the bank of Nico and making a withdrawal.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
Is that... is that hair gel?
Ice Cream - December 30, 2009
"metrics for dummies" sounds good
i’m ready for the season to start NOW. why do they need an off-season anyway? bunch of babies!
Deborah51 - December 29, 2009
3 cheers for danmerqury
In unrelated news, my return to the Great State of California begins in 4 hours. Rose Bowl, y’all, go Ducks.
Joey C. - December 29, 2009
who the hell they playing?
Iowa?!
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
Ohio State, friend of friends
And I hear their fans are the drunkenest/spout-off-enest, so I’ve made sure to bring my Masoli jersey and a devastating overhand right. I apologize to my parents for my behavior in advance.
Joey C. - December 30, 2009
Just remember, when taunting fans of tOSU:
1 — simple, declarative sentences
2 — with emPHAsis!!!!!!!!!
3 — volume beats clever
4 — no graphics with more letters than “D” “[fence]”
5 — no signage, unless they’ve brought a reader with them — somebody dressed in, say, maize-and-blue.
6 — DUCK!
The Dogfather - December 30, 2009
I sense a Michigan grad nearby.
It’s my Notre Dame spidey sense.
That said, go Ducks!
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
Ooh! My favorite fight song!
I’ll have to watch, just for that. It’s on New Year’s, right?
iglew - December 30, 2009
I'll admit that "Script Ohio" and dotting the "i" are pretty cool...
…but for the university to offer it as a Major?
OTOH, there’s THIS!
The Dogfather - December 30, 2009
Enh, Victors is overrated.
Sounds too much like a carnival. Doesn’t hold a candle to THIS.
iglew - December 30, 2009
I smite thee, heretic.
The Dogfather - December 30, 2009
They're crazy
Those medievals…
nevermoor - December 30, 2009
When I was in South Bend,
we had different words for that song.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
If that's the rendition I think it is ...
… I don’t understand what the singers have against self-indulgence and fornication. I mean, don’t they represent the reality and fondest dreams of most college students, respectively?
Or maybe you meant:
Hail to those scholar-athletes, who’ll whip our Irish Cathletes, Hail! Hail! to Michigan (etc.)
The Dogfather - December 31, 2009
I'm fairly certain we can go toe-to-toe with you,
scholar-wise. You do have that leg up on your Big 10 brethren (except Northwestern, who I resent for an entirely different reason), but not us, alas.
Leopold Bloom - December 31, 2009
Northwestern also has a very nice song.
Not quite the caliber of On Wisconsin or Notre Dame’s victory march, but still excellent.
iglew - January 2, 2010
Yay! I'll be there too!!
:)
gigglingone - December 30, 2009
chapman sweepstakes heats up
Assistant general manager David Forst and two other members of the front office recently saw Chapman throw a side session in Houston, and the delegation came away impressed. Chapman’s fastball has topped 100 mph.
The money looks to have gone up, as well. Chapman could be looking for something close to $20 million. His former representatives fielded at least one offer in the $15 million range, and the Marlins are believed to have made a $13 million bid recently.
Chapman has incentive to sign by midnight Thursday – his bonus would be taxed if he signs in 2010 instead of 2009.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/12/29/SP801BB3UG.DTL#ixzz0b9lYxeUd
MagicMike23 - December 29, 2009
Welcome Dan
And a good opportunity to say thank you to all other front page contributors. It is a lot of work, it is a work well done and it is highly appreciated.
elcroata - December 30, 2009
+1
Joey C. - December 30, 2009
Wait.
I’m between a pair of BBG’s? I think I am going to like this lineup.
Well, I would if I were, you know, alive.
67MARQUEZ - December 30, 2009
You’re certain to pull an eyelid, or a smile muscle.
I predict the DL by May 1.
The Dogfather - December 30, 2009
Weekend at 67M's.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
I resemble all these remarks
But the purpose of this particular proclamation is to publicly welcome danmerqury, one of my favorite Morris dancers (that’s an NFL, undefeated season, loudmouth has-been pun, so I meet my quota of those for 2010 early). When Nico first asked me if I thought dan was front-page material, I told him that I thought he was… for The New York Times. But for now, AN will have to do…. all the news that’s FIP to print, you know.
As for Mondays, I think I have Opening Day, oh my I may have to come to everyone’s house that morning and specifically place a specially-printed green and gold party hat atop you guys’ heads. Or one of those DEVO flowerpot/energy dome things, emblazoned with the team colors… in fact I think those should be the new batting helmets, anything for our OF to hit more than 10 HRs collectively for the season.
emperor nobody - December 30, 2009
dedicated to danmerqury cuz he rawks
I got dem Mercury Blues agin mama…
emperor nobody - December 30, 2009
I vote for the DEVO HATS.
sure to be unique among fans at the Coli!!
Berry Jo - January 3, 2010
Pitchers and catchers report
in just 50 days! (thanks, em)
lynnzgal - December 30, 2009
I love to say that
Year doesn’t start on January 1, it starts on the day when pitchers and catchers report.
Manstein - December 30, 2009
There needs to be a celebration for that!
lynnzgal - December 30, 2009
A Nico post
without a Brandon Inge reference?
Dub_TC - December 30, 2009
Brandon Inge!!!!!
Nico - December 30, 2009
there it is!
Dub_TC - December 30, 2009
Thank you to the entire AN crew!
I really appreciate the efforts by the AN crew to keep A’s news alive and fresh during the offseason as well as during April through October. For an A’s fan on the east coast, this is the greatest!!
A's Fan in Virginia - December 30, 2009
um,
somehow when I read this:
I kept seeing “dung.”
So apparently the front page crew brings us dung every day.
But just so our flowers can grow big and strong.
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
...and BLOOM!
The Dogfather - December 30, 2009
eggs-xact-lee
Leopold Bloom - December 30, 2009
Gene Shalit?
Joey C. - December 31, 2009
Good GS quote:
"Some films could only have been cast in one way: Screen tests were given and the losers got the parts."
Leopold Bloom - December 31, 2009
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