If only the A's could upgrade SS from Pennington to a good defensive SS with some pop in his bat. Someone like JJ Hardy.
The A's young rotation could really use a solid veteran in the middle of the rotation, someone good enough that combined with Braden and Anderson, suddenly competing in 2010 would even start to look less impossible. Someone like Javier Vasquez.
Not only have recent -- if not current -- ideal targets been traded this off-season, what stands out is for how little they have been traded.

Not that Jamey Carroll and Coco Crisp wouldn't make a killer 3-4 in the middle of any batting order, but start talking about Hardy and Vasquez and my interest piques just a smidge more. The asking price for Hardy was Carlos Gomez, while Melky Fricking Cabrera was the headliner for the deal bringing Vasquez back to the Bronx.
So let me understand: The A's are stockpiling CFers about as good as Gomez and Cabrera, instead of acquiring shortstops who can field while hitting 20+ HRs and starters FIP rates as 3rd best in the entire National League in 2009?
I honestly would have thought that due to his defense Hardy, despite his recent batting woes, would require more in trade than he did. And I guess the Vasquez trade must come down to a salary dump, because that is one heckuva starting pitcher to pick up without going "ouch" over the players you gave up. Even Curtis Granderson, a CFer who plays very good defense and slugs almost .500, went for less than I would have guessed he would.
How are these guys going for so little? And why aren't the A's in on it?
EDIT -- 2:07pm PDT. OK, I wrote this kinda fast when I saw there was nothing new up today, and hadn't fact-checked enough to realize that Vazquez has only one year left on his contract, and that Vizcaino's pedigree is more significant than I recalled. So forget the Vazquez part of this post, and focus on Hardy and Granderson. And, of course...Brandon Inge!!!!!
0 recs | 138 comments
I feel like I've read something like this before.
mikev - December 22, 2009
I feel like I've made a comment like this before.
Gaijin_Suketto - December 22, 2009
It's like... something out of a dream or... I don't know. Maybe I'm just going crazy.
LoneStranger - December 22, 2009
I feel like I've seen something like this before
sfoakbay - December 22, 2009
The A's aren't really trying
2015 is the new date for the A’s to try to win games. Right now they’d like to sell some tickets without spending too much money. They’d also like to see how many “Rookie of the Year” winners they can produce and then trade for 17-yr-olds.
BlueMoon - December 22, 2009
Yuck! I'll be ready for AARP then.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Double-A relief pitcher?
Nico - December 22, 2009
I'll be the next Jim Morris...but then even more.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Not for nothin'...
… but the reason Melky Cabrera is the “headliner” in the Vasquez trade is likely because ESPN sucks at reporting. They neglect to mention in the headline that the Braves acquired Arodys Vizcaino, whom Keith Law says immediately becomes one of the top 5 prospects in the Braves’ system and profiles as a potential #1 or #2 starter. Also, as far as I can tell, this is Vasquez’s last season, so you’’re giving up that highly-touted prospect for a 1-year rental.
I’m not trying to sound defeatist, but it doesn’t look like the A’s will exactly be taking the league by storm next year. I don’t see much point in acquiring veteran players— and giving up any sort of value to do so— if playoff contention is out of the question. These are the types of moves you make when you’re on the cusp.
Joey C. - December 22, 2009
Eh, the Vazquez trade was not one that I'd want to be a part of
A roughly equivalent package from the A’s would be something like Rajai Davis, Michael Ynoa and Brad Kilby. Plus Davis’s 2010 salary.
For one year of Vazquez at full price? Nah. Not interested.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
Same, as acknowledged below.
Nico - December 22, 2009
You really think...
the A’s should trade a top 5 prospect, another useful player, and absorb $8 million in salary for a 33 year old pitcher with one year (+ an option I think) left on his contract? Sounds sort of similar to the Holliday trade, and people seem pretty against trying something like that for this year. If the A’s traded, say, Michel Ynoa and Ryan Sweeney for one year of Vazquez, I think people would be pretty upset.
swatnick - December 22, 2009
True -- I should have stuck with Hardy and Granderson
as deals I’d like the A’s to have gotten in on, not Vasquez, who would be nice to add in a vacuum but not in fact given his contract length, amount, or quality prospect going the other way.
Nico - December 22, 2009
and Polanco
or Iwamura.
mikev - December 22, 2009
Agreed on Hardy
It seems like Beane’s making the opposite mistake he usually does with Pennington — letting a handful of major league atbats trump all the minor league evidence that he’s not much of a hitter. As for Granderson, the Tigers got a great deal for him. Scherzer’s a beast.
swatnick - December 22, 2009
Well, yeah
That deal was good for both the Yankees and Tigers, thanks to Arizona’s decision to trade two good pitchers for two significantly worse ones.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
Vazquez doesn't have an option
He would’ve made sense if he was under control beyond 2010.
Blicks - December 23, 2009
On the other hand,
how about Henry Rodriguez and Matt Sulentic for Brandon Morrow? The A’s could become the Wilford Brimley All-Stars!
Probably an unfair comparison, because Seattle is a division rival, but… boy, not liking the Morrow return. This is the first Z-man move that I really don’t agree with. League is mediocre despite big-time stuff, and the other guy seems to have some real issues with plate discipline.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
Yeah, I'm not sure what that deal is about.
mikev - December 22, 2009
Yeah
No idea what’s going on there…
Philip Christy - December 22, 2009
It seems like Jack Z is getting rid of Bavasi's guys...
just because they were Bavasi’s guys. I mean, most of those guys were scrubs and should be cut-loose for whatever he can get for them, but I thought that last season, Morrow showed some real promise and has a hell of an arm.
I would’ve liked to hear that the A’s inquired on him, that’s for sure.
Taj Adib - December 22, 2009
Does seem like a bit of a purge, doesn't it
About the only remaining M’s starters who were acquired by Bavasi are Saunders, Lopez, Johnson, and Felix Hernandez.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
Is this one os those,
“I don’t like people who were here before me” kind of new-management things? Of course that usually happens with more immediate employees (like “traveling secretary” and “Asst GM” would be in this business).
Nico - December 22, 2009
The spin I've read...
… is that this is another move to contend right now (the reasoning being that Morrow is a “project” and League can help “right now.” Their words, not mine). Still, seems a little silly to me. If what you want is some mediocre right-now help, seems to me you can pick that up on the free agent market without having to give up a commodity like Morrow.
Maybe they think he’s a huge injury risk or something.
Joey C. - December 22, 2009
+1
I can see that being their reasoning, but that just doesn’t make sense. League’s potential worth next year doesn’t come close to Morrow’s. I mean the guy’s been worth 1.5 WAR over his career and Morrow could easily reach that next season…
I think it’s much more likely that they value Chavez pretty highly and are enticed by the power potential…
stranahanahan - December 22, 2009
They must really dislike Morrow for some reason. It's not his fault they picked him over Lincecum.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Wait, they traded Morrow?
Dang, Z is moving like crazy. I can’t keep up.
iglew - December 22, 2009
Maybe Z has faith in the staff he's put together to turn League around
For all I rip on Kenny Wililams, he has a really good pitching coach in Don Cooper, and he’s had some successful reclamation projects with the White Sox (Thornton, Jenks, etc.). Maybe Z has been told by his coaching staff that they can fix League.
thejd44 - December 22, 2009
I really believe Kenny Williams is one of the more underrated GMs
He’s generally skewered as “an idiot!!!!111” yet he has both identified many good bargains (Thornton is a great example) and put together winning teams multiple times. Is he perfect? Far from it. Should he get credit for everything that has gone right? No. But the guy has actually done some very smart things along the way.
Nico - December 22, 2009
He's one of the lesser GMs in baseball.
mikev - December 22, 2009
Given the low esteem in which KW is held
by the Moneyball crowd, there is plenty of room for both Nico’s and Mike’s statements to be correct.
I feel pretty confident that he’s not as bad as he’s generally made out to be. Still not sure if he’s above average.
iglew - December 23, 2009
Well, I mean
I don’t think I have him down on the list with, say, Dayton Moore, Ed Wade, Sabean, etc… he’s probably the next cut above that though.
I mean, he DID win the World Series, but it’s kinda hard to credit him with like every pitcher on his team having a ridiculous career year all at the same time, etc.
mikev - December 23, 2009
Why not?
Sabean gets discredited because Liriano, Bonser, and Nathan all had a ridiculous career year at the same time. (Well, OK, maybe Nathan’s was for real, but still.)
iglew - December 23, 2009
Because that was possibly one of the worst trades of all time
mikev - December 23, 2009
Right, but part of the reason it was the worst
is because in 2006 Liriano had an out-of-his-head career year and Bonser was uncharacteristically non-sucky. That’s not so different from the White Sox rotation all having good years in 2005.
True, it was still a bad trade because Nathan >> Pierzynski, but not as epically bad as its reputation.
iglew - December 23, 2009
It was only an out of his head career year because he got hurt after.
The dude put up a 4 WAR season in his first full year in the big leagues.
mikev - December 23, 2009
But making trades is often a guessing-game
On who stays healthy and who gets hurt. This is probably what motivated Byrnes to trade Scherzer, for example. You can’t count Liriano’s hypothetical production in a case he was healthy for last three years against Sabean in that trade.
Manstein - December 23, 2009
I agree with this placement of him
He’s not in that truly awful, “doesn’t deserve his job” rung by any means. He’s clearly intelligent and at least has plans that (usually) make some kind of sense.
thejd44 - December 23, 2009
Exactly -- he's not terrific but not awful
On AN, I’m constantly reading about how awful he is.
Nico - December 23, 2009
I'm pretty sure in his tenure, he's made more moves than anybody in baseball
Although that number can be skewed since he’ll obviously have more than guys with less time on the job (and it may not be true anymore, but was a few years ago), it shows that he does A LOT.
He’d better have a few wins if he’s going to haphazardly make moves the way he does.
For every Quentin (and that cost him Carter, anyway) or Thornton, I’d say there’s at least 3-5 Todd Ritchie/Billy Koch moves he’s made.
That said, the 2010 White Sox are gonna be really, really awesome in 1999.
thejd44 - December 22, 2009
Their haul for the Vazquez trade was pretty hefty
Much better than I would have expected, but he really seems to jump at the idea of making a deal.
I think they’ll really come to regret that Peavy deal in a few years…
stranahanahan - December 22, 2009
And then he undoes it by trading Nick Swisher for squadoosh because he got pissed off at him.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
the mark teahen deal was masterful though
mikev - December 22, 2009
I think it was semi-stupid
Teahen was ultimately, considering his salary, a zero value player. He’s a butcher at 3B, not that great at RF or any other defensive position he’s played, and doesn’t have a good enough bat to make up for it.
Getz and Fields aren’t much, but the fact that Getz = Teahen, except making league minimum and has decent upside, tips the deal towards stupid.
The extension, on the other hand, indefensiblly stupid.
Blicks - December 23, 2009
I know. I was being totally sarcastic.
It was dumb, and it blocks Brent Morel.
mikev - December 23, 2009
A:"Rios's contract + Mark Teahen"
Q: What are two things that no one wants and would have been either released or DFA’d or rotting on a bench for many years until KW came along?
PL78 - December 23, 2009
BUT YOU GUYZZZ!!!
Rios had, like, 70 RBIs last year, and Teahan is 7 for 10 with a home run when there’s a RISP and Ozzie Guillen isn’t yelling at one of his playerzzz!!!
These guys would be our best hittersss!!!
stranahanahan - December 23, 2009
I think it's important to point out that
Rios had a whopping 70 RBIs!!!!!!! while Jack Cust only had 70 RBIs!!!!!!!
Nico - December 23, 2009
Vazquez was never an option
His contract with the Braves allowed him to veto a trade to any West Coast team. Some reports had him nixing a possible trade with the Dodgers, before the Yanks came calling.
OaklandSi - December 22, 2009 via mobile
Hardy
Would have been nice.
niallmack - December 22, 2009
Yes he would have.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Curtis Granderson would have been nice too
They did get Michael Taylor though. Credit where credit is due.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Definitely.
Imagine adding Granderson, Hardy, and Inge and you have yourself a contender — and given what Granderson and Hardy cost, and what Inge likely would (mostly salary), you wonder how much the A’s would have had to give up to assemble that crew.
Nico - December 22, 2009
They can still get Inge.
They don’t really have anyone that’s comparable to Carlos Gomez or Austin Jackson in the eyes of the teams that acquired them. I’m not that enamored of either so it’s a bit frustrating.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Wait, Nico
Should the A’s trade for Inge?
That’s the first I’ve heard you talk about him…
stranahanahan - December 22, 2009
Brandon Inge!!!!!!!
Nico - December 22, 2009
The Vazquez trade reminds me,
The Yankees have too many SPs now with Mitre and Gaudin on the outs. Now’s the time to bring back Chad! It’d probably only take a C prospect to pry him away. I’m sure the yanks are looking to restock the system a little after their Granderson/Vazqeuz trades.
cityplANner - December 22, 2009
Chad could be a decent option for someone. Maybe Seattle or Anaheim.
I don’t think I’d trade more than a C prospect for him, and the Angels and Mariners probably would.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
yeah, but if you brought back Chad and Duke, that'd leave you with
1 – Duke
2 – Braden
3 – Anderson
4 – Gaudin
5 – Cahill/Gio/Mazzaro/Outman
That’s a sneaky good rotation.
cityplANner - December 22, 2009
Damn that whole Gaudin is good
myth refuses to die. He’s been atrocious except for ONE half-season. Don’t let his overall track record affect anything tho. GAUDIN for 4th starter!!!
ohmangoAs - December 22, 2009
This year
he pitched 147 inning with 139 K’s and an FIP of 4.16. That sounds like a pretty damn good 4th starter to me.
cityplANner - December 22, 2009
It sounds like what people here think Dallas Braden is.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
hadn't considered that
pitcher 1: 136 IP, 81K, 42 BB, 3.73 FIP
pitcher 2: 147 IP, 139K, 76 BB, 4.16 FIP
one is a #1 pitcher and one TOTALY SUCKORZ!!!!
cityplANner - December 22, 2009
I don't think anyone who seriously stops and thinks about it
would call Braden a #1 pitcher. That’s just insane.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
Imagine intimating that Braden was a #1 back around this time in '07
You’d have gotten hung by the chimney with care.
Joey C. - December 22, 2009
I was nearly lynched for intimating that Dallas Braden was even a competent pitcher after 2008
I can’t even really take credit for that one. A 2-second glance at the guy’s FIP said he had been ridonkulously unlucky in his MLB career and would likely be a solid pitcher going forward.
That said, his FIP is still at basically the same “solid pitcher” level that it’s always been at. So, yeah. Not a #1 pitcher.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
hung by the chimney
Wow, you know there’s gotta be a NSFW image of that out there somewhere. But I’m not going to go looking for it.
iglew - December 23, 2009
Yeah, OK I lied.
Curiosity got the better of me.
It’s not as bad as I thought. Google images made it all the way to picture 14 before anything dirty turned up, and even that was remarkably tame.
It’s only borderline NSFW, but since it really is a workday, I’ll play it safe with just a link.
iglew - December 23, 2009
Depends on the definition of "#1"
I do predict the A’s will have him pitch opening day, so in that sense he’d be our #1.
I agree that he’s not our best though, and probably not our second best either.
iglew - December 23, 2009
No
When people talk about a pitcher being “a #1 starter,” they do not mean “the opening day starter for a particular team” unless they are being deliberately obtuse. That’s the kind of Orwellian language manipulation used by marketing directors to try to lure fans into buying season tickets.
PaulThomas - December 23, 2009
And yet, dozens of out-of-town commentators
WILL be that obtuse. If Braden does indeed pitch opening day, they’ll all be calling him our “#1”.
For the record, I knew exactly what you meant. I only intended to point out that others out there will use the term differently, confusing matters by calling a guy our “#1” even if he’s not the best.
iglew - December 24, 2009
I think if we're talking number one starter
my money is on Brett Anderson at this point. But that’s just me…
mrod - December 23, 2009
i think dallas braden is my hero
9Custs - December 22, 2009
While I love 209
He is NOT a #1 in the rotation, unless of course your rotation sucks.
OptimistPrime - December 22, 2009
For a brief moment in time
Gaudin was unhittable.
That train left the station a looooooong time ago
OptimistPrime - December 22, 2009
He was almost exactly as valuable starting this year
As he was with Oakland in ’07 in terms of per IP.
stranahanahan - December 22, 2009
Duke's not coming back
From the sounds of things, all reports keep saying that he’s saying with a new team this week…
stranahanahan - December 22, 2009
I hope it's an east coast team in the NL.
LoneStranger - December 23, 2009
I'm guessing Yankees.
iglew - December 23, 2009
I stand corrected
Olney reports that there’s a fair chance he could still sign with us.
I’d provide the link, but it’s ESPN insider…
stranahanahan - December 23, 2009
They could use some more catching depth
Recker, maybe?
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
didn't they just add Mike Rivera?
cityplANner - December 22, 2009
Sigh.
Nobody truly appreciates Francisco Cervelli.
Nico - December 22, 2009
Mrs. Cervelli does
OptimistPrime - December 22, 2009
They could also use an OF to replace Melky. Hairston?
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Send them Buck and Hairston -- "they're one OFer combined!"
Nico - December 22, 2009
0-4
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Blogging For Dummies: How To Write A Bad Post
1. “I should write something so there’s something new to read on the front page.”
2. “Hey, the Vazquez trade was finalized.”
3. “Vazquez would be a great fit in the A’s current rotation.”
4. “Of course, JJ Hardy would have been a great fit in the infield.”
5. “And Granderson in the OF.”
6. “Man, players who would help the A’s a lot right now keep getting traded elsewhere.”
7. “I should really start writing something…”
Nico - December 22, 2009
Braves still need an OF. Buck/Hairston could still end up there.
They don’t really have much in the way of extra SS/3B, though, so another team would have to be involved.
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
Hmm...Maybe we can settle for their backup catcher,
but ask that they also throw in Yunel Escobar.
Nico - December 22, 2009
So do the Yankees, actually.
RAJAI DAVIS FOR AROD + CASH
mikev - December 22, 2009
I'd do it without CASH
WaddellCanseco - December 22, 2009
nah.
We don’t need a third baseman OR a shortstop, especially one that’s such a weak hitter.
Leopold Bloom - December 22, 2009
And he's not clutch.
eastbayexpat - December 22, 2009
no grit.
Leopold Bloom - December 22, 2009
i mean seriously...he's never been key to a post season run that's ended with a world championship.
stm72 - December 22, 2009
yeah but he got to bang madonna.
mikev - December 22, 2009
ray of lite madonna, not lucky star madonna
big difference
stm72 - December 22, 2009
Like you'd turn either down?
mikev - December 23, 2009
there's sloppy seconds and then there's sloppy seconds to the 50th power. i would pass on ray of lite madonna. had the serious hots for lucky star madonna.
stm72 - January 1, 2010
Shyah, no
What do we want with that one hipped-over-the-hill pretty boy?
STRICKOUTS through age 28:
A-Rod: 1126
Rajai: 141
Rajai FTW!
Spass30 - December 22, 2009
Self-deprecation saved you from some serious OP snark Nico ;)
OptimistPrime - December 22, 2009
About Javier Vazquez...
The guy had it written in his contract that he could veto a trade to any NL West or AL West team. He forced a trade out of Arizona less than a year after the D’backs traded for him, as was his right since he was traded to Arizon by the Yankees a year after he signed a multi-year contract with them.
He doesn’t want to play his home games out here, which means Oakland never had a chance to acquire him.
grover - December 22, 2009
This post would have been meaningful
if you had actually told me what the trades that happened are. Or at least linked to a news story. I gather from your observations that a Vasquez trade and a Hardy trade happened, but I’m still not clear on the details. Not all of us sit around watching MLBTR or ESPN all day, you know.
Sure, I know I could go searching and find it pretty easily, but hey, I was hoping you’d at least give me a summary rather than start talking about a trade as if everyone already knows about it. Call me lazy.
iglew - December 22, 2009
oops, meant to say "more meaningful"
Lazy AND a lousy proofreader.
(Going to go look for the Brandon Morrow trade now.)
iglew - December 22, 2009
im sure you already know about it but just in case
www.mlbtraderumors.com will give links to all stories and the categorize it pretty easily. not the most trust worthy source maybe, but it gives someone a place to start
thewhizkid - December 22, 2009
Laziness and poor proofreading tend to go together, I think.
thejd44 - December 22, 2009
Honestly, iglew, your observation is only about the 8th worst thing
about this post, which if it were a horse would have been put out to the glue factory, if it were Chavez would have been shot by a gang of “non-Mexican haters,” and if it were Crosby would have still been less of a whiff.
And JJ Hardy was traded about 2 months ago.
Nico - December 22, 2009
What? That can't be right...
If this post were Chavez it would still be penciled in for a starting spot in next year’s blogging lineup.
PaulThomas - December 22, 2009
This post feels better than it's felt in years.
thejd44 - December 22, 2009
Its November, 2010
Crisp’s option has just been exercised, and G.Desme (have we figured out if his name is Greg or Grant yet?) and Corey Brown have raced into AAA. Michael Taylor and Chris Carter have thrown up OPSs of 1000+ at AAA and we have so many outfielders its not funny.
Every CF in MLB has gotten a year older, there’s bound to have been some injuries to some and there will be teams (the white sox immediately come to mind) looking for one. Lets check the market shall we?
Willie Bloomquist (33)
Jody Gerut (33)
Willie Harris (33)
Jason Michaels (35)
Corey Patterson (31)
Willy Taveras (29)
(THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION, THIS IS THE CF MARKET)
Random, CF-needing GM sees said list and says: “Oh shit, well that’s a terrible group. Who’s available for trades? Lets go around and see who’s available…”
Thats when this dude spins around dramatically and holds his chin to make sure you see his baller-ass watch and says “O RLY? A CENTER FIELDER IS WHAT YOU SEEK, EHHHHHHH????”

“LET ME GIVE YOU A TOUR OF MY SHOWROOM….OVER HERE WE HAVE THE YOUTHFUL, GOOD LOOKING ATHLETE-TYPE WHO HITS AT A LEAGUE AVERAGE RATE BUT HAS A GOOD CEILING, HE’S MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN MELKY CABRERA, WHO WAS JUST TRADED FOR THE GUY WITH THE 3RD HIGHEST FIP LAST YEAR.”
R.Sweeney: “Good day to you sir” /takes off running and makes a sweet catch and somehow lines a hard single to right-center in the same motion.
“HARK! BUT LOOK OVER HERE, ITS A COST CONTROLLED COCO CRISP! DOES MY USE OF ALLITERATION HYPNOTIZE YOU? IT SHOULD DO! HE’S ALL YOURS FOR 2011 AND HE’S ALSO BETTER THAN MELKY CABRERA. HE ALSO GOES BY THE NICKNAME “COOKIE”, IF THERE IS A COMPANY IN YOUR TOWN THAT MAKES COOKIES, THE COMMERCIAL TIE-INS ARE ENDLESS. LOOK, HE EVEN LOVES TO EAT COOKIES!"
C. Crisp: /eats cookies from bag. Andruw Jones materializes next to him, grabs the bag from him, inhales the bag and disappears while laughing manically.
C. Crisp: “Aw crumbshucks”
“DO YOU THINK I AM EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHING THIS? NO! HERE IS RAJAI DAVIS, A SHORT STOCKY GUY WHO IN AN EFFORT TO GET TEH AWESOME, ONCE WENT THROUGH A RIGID VOODOOO CEREMONY WHICH INCLUDED RUBBING RICKEY HENDERSON’S 939 BAG ALL OVER HIS BODY AND EATING A BAG OF LOU BROCK’S TOENAILS”
R.Davis: “yummy yummy yummy yummy YAAHHHMAAAA”
/is wearing a chain of Melky Cabrera’s teeth
/smashes a triple, then runs back to first so he can steal second then third, then scores on a wild pitch.
“yummy yummy yummy yummy YAAHHHMAAAA”
“WE ALSO HAVE SCOTT HAIRSTON.”
S. Hairston: “ouch, hi, oh cmon, help out ol’ scotty, you gotta! im just trying to make ends meet! I’ll play that centered field for you, Im getting better at hittin righties I swear! C’mon sir, my marriage is hanging by a thread, ol’ scotty needs a home. Im definitely better than Melky Cabrera, although he’s a swell guy I dont wanna badmouth him, yeah you should probably just sign him instead of me, he was a Yankee and Im just ol’ Scotty”
/makes puppy dog eyes
/begrudgingly plays better than Melky Cabrera
/Frank Wren’s eyes well up with tears.
“LASTLY WE HAVE GENETICALLY MELDED TWO BORDERLINE EVERYDAY PLAYERS INTO A SUPER FRANKENSTIEN EVERYDAY CF! MEET AARVIS BUCKINGHAM!”
A.Buckingham: “uuughhhhhhhhhhghgaarrrrrrrrrghARGHGHHHHH”
/plays better than Melky Cabrera
“SO…..REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID I WAS A FOOL FOR SIGNING CRISP AND STOCKPILING ALL THESE CENTER FIELDERS? IM NOT MUCH OF A FOOL NOW AM I???? NOW GIVE ME PLAYERS THAT ARE MUCH BETTER THAN THESE ONES, YOU DO IT NOW! YOU DONT WANT BRIAN ANDERSON OUT THERE DO YOU?”
/Dayton Moore signs Brian Anderson to 6 year deal
D. Moore: “hey guys, whats going on?”
PL78 - December 22, 2009
This is like The Dugout
I rec’d it. Why haven’t you all rec’d it? Rec it!
CaliforniaJag - December 22, 2009
thanks
sometimes, you just have to make your own dugouts haha
PL78 - December 22, 2009
Hairston sounds like Gill off the Simpsons
Daniel777 - December 22, 2009
YUP!
Can anyone get the Raj reference though?
PL78 - December 22, 2009
Police Academy 4
Citizens on Patrol
gatling - December 22, 2009
YOU WIN!!!
The quiz, my heart, etc
Seriously how incredible is that film? I watched it with some friends (great party movie btw) the other day and we pondered if it could even be made today without costing $500MM. Its so epic, ever scene is in a different setting, and theres random amazingness such as David Spade has his stunts done by Tony Hawk! Thats like Raj Davis getting Frank Thomas as his stuntman, LOL! Also the quoted scene above is just such a classic as well…
PL78 - December 23, 2009
I love that movie
You have pre-SNL David Spade as a skate board punk, pre-Basic Instinct Sharon Stone as a newspaper reporter, Mahoney super gluing the megaphone to Harris’ mouth, the Simon Says bit where the prisoners escape, the hot air balloon chase, Zed’s poetry reading with the old ladies, and of course the scene you used for Rajai. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of the first three Police Academy movies, but I feel safe in saying #4 was my favorite by far.
gatling - December 23, 2009
Green
Daniel777 - December 22, 2009
Jesus christ, sometimes you come up with some funny shit.
This is one of those times.
mikev - December 22, 2009
Sigged my favorite part, too
This was awesome
CaliforniaJag - December 22, 2009
But you sigged the part with my one quibble.
“Hark” means listen, not look. Should be “Lo”. Billy wouldn’t get that wrong.
iglew - December 23, 2009
While I agree that there's parts of this Id love to slightly change
The number 1 rule of comedy is that the less you know about whatever youre writing, the funnier it is. This right here is the perfect example of what I mean.
PL78 - December 23, 2009
also, just re-reading it now
That part that says “DO YOU THINK I AM EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHING THIS? NO!” is actually directed at myself, as I knew I was “on a roll” so to speak and this post was getting really long. That’s just a really odd thing to throw in there, I have no idea why I went with it, other than it looking kind of funny to read.
PL78 - December 23, 2009
That would explain why I suck at comedy.
I’m not funny at all.
iglew - December 24, 2009
rec'd, but
You left out the part where our record was 70-92 and Chase Utley and Jayson Werth have hit more HRs together than our entire team combined
cuppingmaster - December 22, 2009
my favortie part
micdog2001 - December 22, 2009
I know this post was mostly in jest (and good job with that)
But I’m not sure if the White Sox needing/wanting an OF is serious or not.
Unless they make moves, in 2011 their starting OF will be the same as 2010 (Pierre, Rios, Quentin). They really don’t have the need, at least from their perspective.
thejd44 - December 22, 2009
If you honestly think Rios is going to play an adequate CF all year for the chisox
then surely you jest.
PL78 - December 22, 2009
whether he does or he doesn't, he's under a nearly untradably bad contract
The Bluejays were pretty delighted he got picked up on waivers, by all accounts
bobnothing - December 22, 2009
Bravura performance
Joey C. - December 22, 2009
I like the Crisp signing much more now
Amazing application of alliteration!
muffinpryde - December 22, 2009
Alliterates and Illiterates: The New Undervalued Commodities!
Nico - December 22, 2009
Travis Buck working with Swisher and Yankees hitting instructot
spoke to onetime A’s right fielder Travis Buck yesterday about the most recent influx of outfielders, which presumably pushes him down the depth chart again, but Buck has a good attitude about the whole thing: He said that if he goes out and does what he’s supposed to during the spring, either the A’s will want him or someone else might.
To that end, Buck has been working with ex-A’s outfielder Nick Swisher and Yankees hitting coach Kevin Long. Buck has all but eliminated his famous “waggle” and he said that for the first time, he’s really incorporating his lower body into his swing. That gives him more power, Buck said. (And that’s certainly something the A’s could use.) He’s very happy with the results.
Buck said his agent heard some rumblings during the winter meetings that some other teams might have interest in him but A’s GM Billy Beane didn’t express interest in parting with him.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/athletics/detail?&entry_id=54003#ixzz0aUFSiKUG
Trainman - December 22, 2009
Instructor
LOL
tot
Trainman - December 22, 2009
I was hoping you meant that Buck was under the guidance
of a tater tot.
Nico - December 22, 2009
Better if you use the blockquote feature
so that it’s more clear that Susan Slusser is talking, not you. As written it sounds like you’re the one who spoke with Buck yesterday.
iglew - December 23, 2009
This reminds me of Crosby working with Holliday and McGwire
Turned out just great.
Manstein - December 23, 2009
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