Athletics Nation

Several assorted items this fine day...Join me after the jump (it's to conclusions -- what a fun ride!) as we talk about many different topics, some of real substance. And I mean that quite literally.

So I wake up in the morning (for a change), pick up the Chronicle Sporting Green, and see the headline, "Lincecum cited for having pot in his car." Now I can relate to this, as I was recently cited for having a casserole dish in the back seat. I have also driven with a crockpot in the passenger's seat (we've since broken up), and also once been in the car when Henry Rodriguez was busted for trying to issue a wok to an undercover leadoff hitter.

Anyhow, it turns out Tim Lincecum was driving 74MPH in a 60MPH zone, was pulled over by a cop who, in a twist of terrible luck for Lincecum, had not lost his sense of smell and asked Lincecum if by any chance he was in possession of marijuana. To which Lincecum apparently replied, "Why yes," and turned over 3.3 grams and a pipe.

Let's count the mistakes, shall we?

1. Lincecum didn't need to drive 74MPH; he could have gone 60MPH and just changed his grip on the steering wheel to get better movement. OK that one's not so serious. We'll start over:

1. When you're carrying marijuana and a pipe, it's generally a bad idea to break other laws and bring attention to your car. 60MPH will still get you places pretty fast.

2. It's an especially bad idea to break laws while breaking laws if you happen to be a famous athlete. No one else was available to transport the dope? It had to be "the one guy who if he's caught it will probably be in the papers the next day"?

3. His hair. I'm just saying, if we're counting mistakes anyway can we throw that one in?

New Sunday Feature Coming: Sunday Funnies!

It's not ANtics; it's more Bizarro-esque. Just for fun, I thought I'd include an original single-panel cartoon with the front page post each Sunday this off-season. For years I created single-panel cartoons, which were then drawn by my most artistic 8th grade students and published in our school newspaper -- and from that came a cartoon book, "Gullible's Travels," that featured some of our favorites redrawn by a couple of our finest young cartoonists.

Generally, the cartoon will have nothing to do with the post, or even with baseball, though for Sunday's debut cartoon I have selected a baseball-themed one to get the ball rolling (so to speak). I just thought it would be a fun, Sundayish thing to look forward to (or dread). So that's the first "special feature" of several I hope/plan to unveil in effort to make the off-season go by a bit quicker.

Random Community Service Opportunity -- And You Don't Have To Do Anything!

This one has the advantage of not requiring you to do anything except entertain me. On Saturday, November 21st, the Alameda County Community Food Bank will have volunteers at 20 CVS locations in Berkeley/Oakland. Volunteers will be handing out flyers and accepting canned food donations in barrels so big even Vlad Guerrero's strike zone is smaller. My school has adopted 2 stores, one in Berkeley and one in Oakland, to handle the volunteering (which will be done by students).

I will be at the Berkeley CVS on Shattuck & Rose from 9:00am-5:00pm on November 21st, supervising students from my school as they do volunteer shifts. My job is basically to make sure that if a stranger tries to lure one of our children into his car, urge the child not to settle for an Almond Joy and to hold out for at least an Almond Roca.

The point is, I will be bored out of my mind unless some of you come keep me company. So you need to do that. Please? It's for a good cause. (Not the Food Bank, me. You folks are way too focused on the hungry.)

Has anyone seen my pants?