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Open Yankee-hating, the-world-is-unfair, I-never-get-what-I-want-for-Christmas thread

Since we don't seem to be done with all of that yet, given the comment counts and server churning of the last couple threads ...

Poll
Why is it, you think, that you never do get what you want for Christmas?
Because I don't celebrate Christmas, you insensitive jerk
31 votes
Because I have been, remain, and always will be a bad, bad boy
46 votes
I don't know what you;re talking about. I *always* get what I want for Christmas. And the world is ok by me. I do hate the Yankees, though.
95 votes
FIRE CLAUS NOW!!!!
60 votes
My cat's breath smells like cat food
103 votes

335 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs  |  33 comments

Comments

I couldn't disagree more
I couldn't fail to disagree less.
There isn't a suitable poll option for me

I’m not bad, just evil.

No, actually, your cat's breath smells like cat food
My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum

The awesome.

It is, indeed, the ne plus ultra of non sequiturs

Neither world peace nor $10 million in unmarked bills will fit in my stocking.

Is this the "AN gifts" thread? or are you working on that one?
no, and no -- but I will
I usually wake up on the roof, sans pants.

But that’s just how my family celebrates the season.

so, on non-holidays, they just let you stay asleep up there?
Normally,

unless it’s my turn to sponge-bath Grandma.

Explain

Will non-Holliday be before the season, at the trading deadline or at the end of the season?

How about this trade (not involving the A's)

To the Mariners: Swisher, Melky Cabrera, Kei Igawa
To the Yankees: Ichiro

Makes no sense for the Mariners

Ichiro is practically free with all the media money he brings in.

You actually would WANT the Yankees to get better.

Why couldn’t it be some NL team’s spare parts?

I never get what I want for Christmas because...

…I live in a small-market family.

you'll never compete with the other families until you get a new facility

… at taxpayer expense, of course.

GreenNGoldSooner, can't you trade your brother for three small children?

One of whom is reasonably likely to grow up to be better than your brother.

Actually, I’ve met your brother – it’s practically a sure thing.

Hey, at least GNGS hasn't signed any expensive free-agent children
For once

I would just like to enjoy the season. By the time I get to be with family and scarf down Mom’s tamales on the actual holiday, I am completely worn out.

Eating tires you out?

wow. i feel sorry for you.

btw, I NEVER get what I want for Christmas. EVER. for the same reason as Grover; I’m not bad, just evil.

I guess I'm evil, too

Because I am kind of glad you capitalized the “g” in “grover”.

Not because I dislike grover. I just like how worked up he gets over it. But maybe the holiday spirit will keep him from tearing your sweet little head off.

oops.

I forgot about how i am NEVER EVER supposed to capitalize the g in grover. uh oh. {hides}

but… eh… sweet? didn’t I just finish explaining that I don’t get presents because I’m evil?

agreed

but then again, it’s the “your/you’re” to some…that’s grover’s thing.

can I have 10 tamales?
Maybe tamale

All out today.

where are the bad boys...

…cuz that’s what i want for Xmas.

I thought I was bad.

Turns out I was just nationwide.

Seriously, though, you don’t get too badder than a failed academic sign maker. Oh, the tales!

so, you make signs for failed academics?

Are they sandwich boards?

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