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Chez-ing It Up, Nico Style!

It's Chez Nico season, and time to identify dates for this year's BYODA (Bring Your Own Dead Animal, in which you are more than welcome to bring slaughtered tofu or murdered veggie patties), this year's Thaiapalooza-slash-pot-luck-slash-"forget the luck, just bring the pot," and anything in between (e.g., "Bring Your Own Dead Thai Person").

We need to identify Chez Nico dates for 2006, but first and fivemost, for those unfamiliar with the concept of a Chez Nico, here are the answers to some FAQs:

"What is a Chez Nico?"
A Chez Nico is a get-together, a "shindig" if you will, hosted by Nico and revolving, if vaguely, around a televised A's away game. Located in the quaint and sanguine Berkeley hills, Nico's house is located just below a crack house, directly across the street from the orange and blue gang graffiti.

"What happens at a Chez Nico?"
Eating, socializing, and watching the A's game are three of the many activities often found at a Chez Nico. Generally, a virgin is sacrificed, and not surprisingly that is usually the only sacrifice the entire day.

Who can attend a Chez Nico
Basically, A's fans I have no reason to believe will be violent towards me, and who are not overly flatulent in general. Apricot is welcome to reapply this year.

Do I need to bring anything?
If you could bring the house, that would be great as I am in fact homeless. Other than that, we will work out all the details, by email, about 1-2 weeks before the Chez Nico date.

How long has the Chez Nico been around?
The Chez Nico is a long-standing AN tradition that dates back all the way to 2005.

Are people of all ages eligible to attend a Chez Nico?
No. If you are 57 years, 5 months, and anywhere between 123-240 days old, you cannot come. Otherwise, it's fine even if you are a minor, as long as I can chat with your parent/guardian in person, on the phone, or by email.

Do I have to sign a "waiver of liability" to enter a Chez Nico?
The waiver is not as bad as it sounds. After the first 16 pages, it goes really fast.

Where is the bathroom?
Down the hall to your left. Oh--if you're going that way, it's to your right.

OK...Looking at the calendar, thanks to the A's "maybe we'll televise the first and third game of the series, but not the middle one" TV schedule, and thanks to FOX's "I'm here, so nobody else can be in the sandbox!!!" policy, Chez Nico options do not exactly abound. From the limited choices of televised weekend away games, here are some possible dates. Use the poll to vote on a "preferred choice," but please only vote if there is some possibility you might attend, so that I can make choices that will actually be useful to people. You can use the comments in this thread to give info beyond just "first choice for a Chez Nico date," which is all the poll allows. Good dates to choose from appear to be:

Sunday, June 25th, 1:05pm at San Francisco

Saturday, July 15th, 4:05pm at Boston

Saturday, August 5th, 1:05pm at Seattle

Sunday, August 6th, 1:05pm at Seattle

Saturday, August 26th, 5:05pm at Texas

Sunday, August 27th, 5:05pm at Texas

You are also welcome to use this thread to discuss today's 5-4 loss to the Angels. Yeah, I didn't think so.

Poll
Most Preferred Date To Attend A Chez Nico?
Sunday, June 25th, 1:05pm at San Francisco
8 votes
Saturday, July 15th, 4:05pm at Boston
10 votes
Saturday, August 5th, 1:05pm at Seattle
1 votes
Sunday, August 6th, 1:05pm at Seattle
2 votes
Saturday, August 26th, 5:05pm at Texas
0 votes
Sunday, August 27th, 5:05pm at Texas
3 votes

24 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs  |  47 comments

Comments

well
I vote for one of the last two since those are the only ones I'll be in town for. I promise I'll bring really good food.
Likes: quiet weekends at home, alter egos
Hard to believe a popular young feller like yerself has such an open social calendar.  I look forward to the chance to learn why!
nico's friends are mostly of the online variety
funny guy, terrible halitosis
Damn...
is it ok to come if one is just a little flatulent? I promise not to eat beforehand...  :)
I'd love to attend
I'm still not sure of my travel schedule this summer, but I'm probably most likely to be in the Bay Area in August.
It's nice of you to invite us ,Nico.
Oh and Bonds just hit a home run. <Had to add that since it just happened>

The game today was quite the bummer for us. Loaiza could get a win tomorrow. It's possible so shush!

I'm not sold on Loaiza....
being as bad as everyone thinks. I think in another month this initial impression will only be a memory. God, I hope I'm right.
So far he's been lousy on the road
and decent at home (including the exhibition game against the Giants). I hope he's better than Redman in reverse.

In any event, let's hope for the best tomorrow.

John Rheinecker
started for the Rangers tonight. So far he has given up two runs in three innings and struck out three.

And in the second inning, the Rangers scored four runs on one hit.

Sacrifice
Can a Kendall be sacrificed in place of a virgin?  The virgin probably throws better.
True--
even a virgin is more likely to hit a homerun.
If I came down, I'd like to
make an extended stay, I won't be any bother, and it would be cheaper than a hotel for a few weeks.  I'll send my special food and needs list ahead of time.
Yeah, um...(this is awkward)...
sure, we'd love to have you, AlaskaA. Um...so, right, we've picked the date and it's June 31st, so I hope you can make it...yeah...

I assume you'll bring blubber?

That's great,
I'd knew you'd make feel welcome.  I'll send that list soon.  The first day, a week or so before the party, you can pick me up at the airport and we can do things together all that week.  And while you work, can I borrow your car?, I want to visit the Tenderloin.
Last time I let you borrow my car,
I found three syringes and a hooker in the passenger seat the next day.

So, sure.

And the guest bed...
you do have a rubber cover for the mattress?...I tend to "void"  at night in my sleep when I travel.  Your bathroom does have handbars?
Don't worry,
there's a bar in every room.
Sounds cool
I don't post much, but I'm here a couple times a day.  I'd love to meet some of you(others, not as much).
LOL
Fear not, I try to arrange it so some attend and others don't. I basically use the "who I feel comfortable letting into my house" rule, which leaves about 95% eligible and the other 5% politely referred to Casa de batgirl.  :-}
personally
I had a lot of fun at chez nico ladt year, id LOVE to go if people wouldnt get mad.
Get mad?
Get even, perhaps. Seriously, Robb, I'd love you to come; it was great to have you last year. And anyway, nobody could ever get mad at you. Madd, maybe.

Rashad can't come until he's 5'6", though. There need to be some standards.

ok
sounds great looking forward to it.
Nico.
I'm getting married on June 25th.  I can come, but is it OK if I bring the bride and the priest?
Just bring the bride
I'm a priest, I'll try to stop by...
You're a priest?
I should go to church more often.
You should.
We're using wafers treated with Ecstacy now.
I just finished reading a new
translation of the Bible, and I was shocked by this part: "Eat this bread, for it is my body; drink this wine, for it is my blood; smoke this crack, for it is my dandruff; f--- this hooker, for she is my bitch."

What else have I missed?

Ah!
I see you've found the excluded Dolomite Gospel...
I once had the Vegemite Gospel version...
but I made a sandwich out of it and ate it.

Mmmmm, sacrilicious!

Salb Dearie ?
No need to be blasphemous.
No problem at all, salb--
just don't be surprised when devo and I take the appropriate opportunity to object to the marriage. It's something we enjoy doing at weddings, and it would be fun to do it at a wedding where we actually knew one of the people.

Anyway, you bring the bride, I'll bring Ken Pries, and it should be fun.

Never mind.
I'd rather that nobody point out the obvious until after wedlock.
In your case,
I assume that will happen during the honeymoon.
Yes.
The bellhop will help.
I just read this on the Athletics site...
Six different Angels are batting over .300 against Loaiza with third baseman Chone Figgins leading the way. Figgins is 8-for-11 against Loaiza with four RBIs.

That doesn't sound too good does it?

That's ok, because
Durazo owns Kelvim Escobar.

Oh crap.

I still miss...
chanting Rubi Rubi!
For Chez Nico Day,
Nico forgot to reel 'em in with the marketing slogan.

Last year, a Mom's concerns were assuaged because nobody got raped, hence the slogan:

Come to Nico's, where you'll almost never get violated.

(/Edgy humor)

I had to abandon the slogan
when last year's virgin threatened to sue for false advertising.
Hmm
This thing is sounding more and more up my alley...
Chez Nico is back?!?!?!?
Awesome!  I thoroughly enjoyed catching the A's over there last season, and I canhardly wait to see you all again.  Most weekends should work for me, so I'll stay tuned!
can I come even if I didn't come last year?
I'm prepared to file my application to become one of those you feel comfortable letting into your house. I have birth certificate, doctor's note re: my height and weight, dead animal, and A's paraphernalia. I may even qualify for sacrificial virgin.
Absolutely--
prior attendance is not required, nor even encouraged (though it's hard to not attend in retrospect). Hope to see you at a Chez this summer!
Oh, and the doctor's note
re height and weight is crucial, as we've had some problems with people misrepresenting their height on AN.
cool
I've been misrepresenting my age and gender this whole time. It'll feel good to come clean.
Sounds good, ma'am,
and I'll make sure you get the senior discount.
The Apricot Bunch
will attempt to make a cameo appearance if it's not early July.

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